Hopkins Family

Where do I go from here?

2011-12-30T22:58:00.003-06:00

December started out with a bang. I was thoroughly enjoying doing my 24 days of service. Each act was bringing so much joy to my heart and was really helping me get into the spirit of Christmas. I was looking forward to sharing some of those activities with each of my readers and hoping that through my adventures, you too would feel the spirit of the Christmas season. And then the 21st came...

I had just got home from helping out at a nursing home and wanted to take a quick nap before having to go to work at 4. My cell phone rang at 12:20..I checked and saw it was my good friend Sheree. I was a little shocked that she was calling as she usually would just text me. I figured she would understand I was resting and would call her later so I let it go to voice mail. Then, I heard the home phone ring...then my cell phone again. Still her. Then I get a text from her. CALL ME! 911! I knew something was up so I quickly called her.

She said "Heather, Victor is dead." First: Shock. Second:hysterics. I fell to the ground sobbing and shaking. I just kept screaming "no, no, no!!" I eventually had to run into the bathroom and get sick. I couldn't control myself. I could barely hold the phone I was shaking so bad. I continuously kept falling to the floor. Anytime I would try to stand, I would fall back down. I drove to the Y almost immediately (not smart I know but I just HAD to be there) to be with my co-workers and feel their support and give them what little I may have.

Victor Escapita was my co-worker, that is true. However, Burrito (as we called him in my home) was more than that. He was a son to Buddy and I, a big brother to my kids, and a friend to our entire family. He came to Buddy and I for advice, came to our home for dinners on Sunday's, came to church sometimes, came to the girls softball games, and any church program my kids were in. He played countless board games with Kimbo and would always text me when he got home with an "I am home...I love you guys." One time, he sent me a Facebook message that told me my family meant more to him then we could imagine and how that one particular afternoon with my family was one of the best days he had ever had.

At work, he would stay until close (if he was working, that was 2 hours past his shift) just to make sure the women made it out to their cars and out of the parking lot safely. Even if he wasn't working, he came up and just sat with us and kept us safe. He was a guardian to us all. He was furious when he found out some kids had been bullying Kimbo. It tore him apart when I would tell him what some kids had said to her. Not sure I ever saw him that angry. He loved my kids. More than I know I am sure. We loved him. More than he will ever know. We lost a member of our family.....

I lost my dad 12 1/2 years ago..I know it takes time to heal. I know the pain doesn't ever go away but does get duller. I know there will be days, and moments that are more difficult than others. I know I will see him again. However, right now...I am heartbroken. I am hurting and sad. Every time I walk into the Y, I have to fight with everything I am to not burst into tears. Every night when I close, I long to hear his squeaking shoes walking behind me as I make my rounds through the building. I cannot come to grips that he will not be there with me ever again. I cannot accept that he will not be lifting Natalie into the air or swinging her around. I cannot imagine that he will not play Monopoly just one more time with Kimbo or walk in the door and immediately hand Garrison his Ipod so that he can play games. I cannot comprehend days and days going by without hearing him say "shaking my head" or "I will remember this when you need a kidney." I cannot and do not want to think of my family without him here with us, being a part of our lives.

I will miss him every single day. Yes, I know it will get "easier" but for now....it just sucks!

Morgan's Wonderland = Heaven on Earth

2011-11-30T10:20:00.004-06:00

There is a miraculous place in San Antonio by the name of Morgan's Wonderland. We have an aunt who lives there in SA and told us about it. It is a "theme park" of sorts for children and adults with special needs. Words cannot even begin to describe how much this park means to our family.

We went for the first time last Thanksgiving and upon walking through the gates, I became emotional. It was just that great. Swing sets that Wheel Chairs can use, a carosal filled with beautiful animals (some go up and down, others don't) that also allow individuals in wheelchairs to ride. A building full of awesome activities including a mini grocery store. A train that travels all over the park. I could go on and on. As I sat back and watched not just my Autistic son, but also my typical daughters run through this park, I was overwhelmed with gratitude. This is a place where I can sit back on the benches and just watch my children play. I don't have to apologize for my son jumping up and down over and over while making his very loud noises. I don't have to apologize if walks up to some stranger and run his fingers through their hair. I don't have to apologize when my son stands too close to someone and invades their personal space. You know why?? Because everyone there not only gets it, they expect it! Some of the employees are special needs adults as well. Watch out when you go to the snack bar. Their sweet spirits can be overwhelming enough to entice you to buy more popcorn than you actually need. :) That is okay though because we are not talking theme park prices here. My family, who is struggling more than ever these days (who isn't in this economy) can actually afford this amazing place.

Not only is it wonderful for my son, my daughters love it so much. Going to Morgan's Wonderland with their Aunt Susie is their favorite part of their trip to San Antonio. They love the atmosphere. They love that they feel safe. They love being around these amazing people.

Upon walking inside, each person in your party is given a bracelet. You scan the bracelet at any of the stations that are located throughout the park and it will pop up a screen telling you where everyone in your party is located at that moment. You can even type in messages so when the next person scans in, it will notify them a message is waiting. Buddy and I had fun with that.

Weather you have an individual in your family with special needs or not, PLEASE go. Please support the wonderful place that is truly like a heaven on earth for my family!

www.morganswonderland.com

(Video is from last November)

When did I start to dread Christmas?

2011-11-20T21:15:00.002-06:00

When I was growing up, I LIVED for Christmas. Christmas in my youth, teenage years and well for many of my adult years, has always been something I just couldn't wait for. It wasn't all about the presents either. I promise. It was about all of my siblings getting together and the fun things we would do. I am the youngest of 6 kids so many of my siblings had kids and I LOVED when they were all coming home to visit. We had our traditions that we did every year. The countless hours of Rook, the 8 hour Monopoly games, how we went to the movies every Christmas day, how we adopted other families...I could go on and on. Christmas was amazing!

Since my dad died in 1999, Christmas has not been the same. We have tried, and we have had some good Christmas' but my father's wonderful holiday spirit is missing. My dad was a HUGE part of making all of those memories.

My mom and Leroy have surprised me the past 2 Christmas' by showing up at my door. That has been incredible. I LOVED having them here and so did my children. That definitely helped create some very special memories for my whole family. I am so grateful for all of the memories that I have of every Christmas up to this point. I realize many children and adults alike don't have that opportunity.

This year just feels different. I am BEYOND stressed out about it. I am pretty much dreading it. Honestly, a lot of it has to do with money. I am not going to lie but I am not about to turn this blog into a "feel sorry for me" type of thing. Things do really stink money wise, that is true, but I don't want to dwell on that here.

I am just sad. Missing my family desperately. More than ever actually. Missing the card games, the laughs, the VERY late nights, the hours of wrapping, watching my mom put all of the presents under the tree in a VERY methodical way (no same paper could be next to each other), the trips to the movies, well...everything really.

I have thought so much about this, pretty much constantly, and the money situation has been on my mind 24/7. So I am going to do something different this year. Since we cannot adopt a family, I am going to implement a "24 days until Christmas countdown service style!" Instead of helping another family with material gifts, myself, and when possible, my family, is going to provide acts of service for a person or family for the first 24 days of December. Some acts will be small, some will be larger. I will keep a log of them all and then post at the end of December what we did and how it went. Hopefully this will get me back in the Christmas mood and relieve some of the stress. After all, isn't that what Christmas is all about?

1, 2 Buckle My Shoe

2011-11-15T23:00:00.003-06:00

I bet you remember how old your child was when they first said mama, or dada, or I love you. I bet you remember how old your child was when they first learn to ride their bike without the training wheels. I bet you remember how old your child was when they first learned to button their shirt or tie their shoes. I also am willing to bet that the ages of 1,2,3,4,5 and maybe even 6 or 7 are coming up in your mind as you think back to all of those amazing firsts for your children. Mine does too...for 3 of my children. Not so much for my oldest son. Most of those things didn't happen until 4 years old or later.

Today, Garrison is exactly 12 years 9 months, and 12 days old. Today, he tied his shoes for the very first time. I cry as I even type it out. This will go down as one of the greatest days of my life. Garrison tied his shoes today!!!! Wow!!! So huge for us! Garrison will go up to a perfect stranger before he will tie his own shoes. It has been a goal of his on several IEP's and a goal of ours for a very long time. Years even. It has always been one of those things that "all of the other kids could do" that I worried my son never would be able to.

When Garrison was diagnosed with Autism, he was 4. The team of 11 physicians who sat before us very wisely said, "You will not have the same hopes and dreams for Garrison that you will have with your other children. Your hopes and dreams for him will be very simple to some but as he achieves those, the reward will be all the sweeter." They were right. For our daughters we see them going to college, getting married, having successful career's and just being great women through and through. We want them to always get good grades, learn to play an instrument, be on the dean's list, be good wives and good mothers, be good examples of Jesus Christ, treat others with kindness and respect, oh and keep their rooms clean. For Garrison, we hope that one day he will be able to have any job of any kind. We hope he will be able to go to the store and understand how to pay for something. We hope he will be able to understand that $10 is a lot more than $1. We hope he will be able to shower every day and remember to wash his hair without being reminded. We hope he will be able to use the bathroom without needing help. We hope that he will always have a sibling to take care of him after we are gone. You see, our hopes and dreams are dramatically different.

Of course we want Garrison to become all that he is capable of being. Of course we want to set goals for him that will challenge him and make him into a strong and independent young man. We have set those goals. And you know what?? He achieved one of those goals today!

Please note that he is not very happy about this new learned skill. In fact, very much the opposite. When I walked in the door tonight, I asked him about it and he argued with me for 10 minutes about how it "made him feel too boring" or "he is too tired to tie his shoes". He broke down crying while telling me "stop telling me I will tie my own shoes. That is not OK." I don't know why he isn't happy. He never is when he hits a milestone like that. He is angry at me that I wont tie them for him tomorrow. Even as I sit and type this, he is running back and forth behind me over and over and over all the while he has his headphones on and is making his repetitive noises that we are so familiar with. He is going extra fast tonight because he is upset. I have managed to mess up his whole night now. He may do this for hours just to get his over-stimulated self to calm down.

I however will remain on cloud nine for the next hours, if not days, because MY SON TIED HIS SHOES TODAY!!!!

My Love and My Trial

2011-11-11T23:00:00.003-06:00

How can such a beautiful little girl be such a little stinker? How can someone who brings such joy to my life every single day also drive me absolultey crazy?? That is my Natalie..or Naddie, or bubbas, or bo-bo's. (Depending on our mood at the time)

I remember a post from about 3 1/2 years ago where I, and our doctors, were VERY concerned that my little girl was autistic. Reading that post back now, the emotions come flooding back. As parents, it was a very, very dark time for Buddy and I. We cried a lot, we hoped a lot, we lost a lot of sleep and we prayed every waking minute that it would not be so. For those who do not have an autistic child, it is difficult for you to understand what we had already been through.

Our son, Garrison, went from being a fairly normal child (he had a few quirks) to a child who could no longer talk, would throw HUGE temper tantrums and slam his head against our wooden front door. Watching your child disappear like that is beyond heart-wrenching. There are no words that will even come close to describing it. It makes you feel helpless and hopeless. The thought of having to go through that all over again with my beautiful baby girl was almost more than I could bare. *(This is the point in the story where I would like to place my disclaimer)*We love our son beyond words. However, watching your child "never grow up" mentally or be so severely challenged in every aspect of his/her life...well, I can't even describe how that feels. The thought of having to watch another child suffer like that, again , I cannot even describe it.

Well, now that time has passed, I can say that even though Natalie does have many quirks about her, some even very similar to her brothers, I firmly believe the choices we made (which will not be discussed on this blog) in our daughters behalf, helped us to keep her from falling into that world. Every choice we made was preceded by countless prayers and fasting. Instead of autism we have a very "special" girl.

Don't get me wrong. She is such a joy and I love her dearly but holy smokes! She is SO different than her siblings. I guess a lot of things may factor into that. She is the youngest, therefore she is crazy spoiled by every person in this household. She is also very stubborn. (I have no idea who she gets that from!) She tries and tries my patience. But boy when she is cute, she is SO cute! I tell people all of the time that God made her so beautiful because it compensates for her orneriness. I also say that she is my father's revenge for all of the diva attitude I gave him and my mom during my junior high and beginning of high school years. I can just see him up there laughing up a storm watching me with her.

She says some of the funniest things like "Mom, stop singing! You're hurting my feet" and "I'm not a stinker, I am a sweeter!" (she stole that last one from her brother who also says it all of the time.) She loves her pink sprite from Sonic (again, I wonder where she gets that) and asks me to "text grandma and tell her I want a lala loopsy doll for Christmas." She loves to bring her small Book of Mormon to church each Sunday and raises it up high and sings "Scripture Power" in primary. That cute little act however, is quickly followed by a complete meltdown that ends in the teachers having to come and pull us out of class because she is so out of control.

How will I ever survive her? Well, I look at how close I was to watching another child disappear into the abyss of Autism, then I thank my Heavenly Father for this beautiful, however ornery, girl.

A Boy's Love For His Dog

2011-11-09T23:49:00.003-06:00

Garrison is extremely allergic to animals. All kinds of animals. Horses, cats, dogs, well you get the idea. For many, many years, he was also terrified of both cats and dogs. 2 years ago, about this time of year, I brought a dog home with me. I have wanted to get the kids a dog for SO long. Buddy and I both had dogs growing up but due to Garrison's allergies and his fear of dogs, we never pursued it.

Jaydog is a Maltipoo. He looks exactly like my dog I had growing up named Ruffles. I loved Ruffles so much and I cried and cried the day he died. Being a maltipoo, I knew that meant that Jay is hypoallergenic. Meaning, he doesn't shed and all that jazz, (all that jazz really means I have no idea why but he doesn't make my son sneeze) so that meant Garrison could be around him. I brought him home and Garrison wouldn't come out of our bedroom for 30 minutes. He was terrified. He finally came out and the rest is history. He LOVES Jaydog. Too bad Jaydog doesn't particularly love Garrison too much. Garrison is a little overwhelming for Jay. He likes to lay right by him, okay on him, and he also likes to close his bedroom door so Jay can't leave. Garrison of course has no idea that Jay doesn't favor him, Garrison just keeps on loving him.

The other day, Garrison lost a tooth. The tooth fairy gave him a dollar. (cheap tooth fairy around here). Garrison doesn't understand money at all. He only knows that he can put quarters into the claw game at walmart and he gets to move the giant claw around a few times. He doesn't even care if he wins, he just likes to watch the claw move. Anyhow, that is what he usually gets from the tooth fairy, is quarters. This particular night, the tooth fairy only had a dollar bill so that is what he got. Well the next day, we were all in the family room watching tv together when Garrison said "Jaydog sure is hairy. His hair is getting grower." (inerpretation: Jaydog's hair is too long) He continues "Jaydog needs a hair cut." I said "Yes son, I know but that costs money and mommy doesn't have any. Do you have any?" He says "The tooth fairy gave me a dollar." He proceeds to walk over, grab his dollar and brings it back to me. As he puts it in my hand, I said "what is this for?" He answers "Money to go cut Jay's hair!"

Precious I tell you! My boy is precious. He loves this dog so much! He knows Jaydog needs a haircut so he was willing to pay for it with his dollar. These are the moments I treasure with my son.

When people find out I have a son who is autistic, they tend to say "I'm sorry." I typically reply with "I'm not!" Yes autism has made all of our lives so much more difficult and has brought us tears, agony, heartbreak, frustration, sadness, guilt, wonderment, and fear. But it has also allowed us to watch a 12 year old boy still believe in a tooth fairy, and think that a dollar can pay for his dog to get a hair cut. It has allowed our son to maintain his innocence. Sometimes that is a bad thing, but a lot of times, it is a good thing.

I dread the day that we lose our sweet Jaydog. I cannot imagine the heartbreak that will bring to our family but mostly to our son. However, it is something wonderful to watch...the love this boy has for his dog.

Just one of those days.

2011-11-05T23:19:00.007-05:00

So it has been just one of those days. A day that I was looking forward to for several reasons. 1) Buddy got the opportunity to go the the Nationwide race to see Elliott Sadler race. 2) I got to go watch Rachel play in a double header. I LOVE watching my girls play softball. LOVE IT SO MUCH!!! 3) Kimbo was having her science birthday party. I love watching my kids have fun for their birthdays. 4) It was the Alabama/LSU football game. If you know anything about me, you know I LOVE Alabama football more than anything! I love it more than I ever thought possible. So that was my day that I was looking forward to. It was going to be a GREAT Saturday!!! Then......

Buddy Got on TV. Look in the background. He is the hottie in the black jacket! :)

The Race: Nothing bad to say about that except for I couldn't go. But I really was okay with that. An awesome friend gave us tickets for free and then another awesome friend got him into the pits with their passes so he was able to meet Elliott and get his autograph. It just meant a lot to me to be able to surprise Buddy with these tickets because he so deserves it. He does so much for me every day! He got to take a very good friend of ours with him so it worked out just fine. Plus he was able to meet Elliott and get his autograph and He got on t.v. Even though he didn't know it until later! :)

The Ballgame: This was going ok until...I look over to check on the kids and I see Garrison with his hand on a boy's shoulder. The boy appears to be about 10. Then the boy pushed Garrison kind of hard. Then he pushed him really hard. Then the *&^$#@ kid punched my son in the chest. HARD. I saw the entire thing! I jumped up, said a bad word, and hauled booty over there. The 10 year old took off. Garrison was holding his chest and bawling! I told another boy who was standing there "Why did he hit him?? He is autistic! He doesn't understand whatever it was you were doing!" That boy looked terrified of me! I get Garrison away from there and bring him over to the bleachers where we were all sitting. I start crying and telling everyone what happened. Everyone at once starts getting upset and telling me I need to go find a parent. I knew that I did but I knew I had to cool down first. I was so upset that at that point it would not have been a good situation. I am not very good at biting my tongue. So 2 moms said "We are going to find the parents of this little punk." So I go with them knowing they will be my support. They found the boy and were bringing him over to Garrison to make him apologize when the dad showed up. I walked up to the boy and very calmly (I was so shocked at how calm the words were coming out of my mouth) asked this boy why he had hit my son. They boy said Garrison was chasing him and he asked him several times to stop. Garrison wouldn't stop so he decided to punch him. He said "I am so sorry. I just didn't understand why he wouldn't stop and I didn't know what else to do." So I explain to the boy "My son has something called Autism. He is 12 years old but his brain is just like a 4 year old child. He doesn't understand things sometimes." The boy said he was so sorry a couple of times. I turned to Garrison and told him that he needed to apologize as well. I told Garrison that he cannot chase people who tell him no. Not everyone likes it. The dad was awesome and very kind with it all. The kid felt bad but I was still very angry and quite frankly so sad.

P.S. Rachel won both of her games! :)

The Party: Kimbo wanted a science party. So we decided to make Ooblek. It is basically corn startch and water. it is a solid while it is sitting there but when you touch it, it turns into a liquid. But we decided to add food coloring to make it fun. Well the kids started putting their hand in it and playing with it. They got very very messy but it was fun. Well, as we started to clean up, I realized the food coloring wasn't coming off of their hands. I panicked. You have no idea how bad it is. Their hands look awful. It is not just a few fingers...it is their ENTIRE hand!!! My awesome friend Danielle stayed here to help out with the party and we both scrubbed their hands with every recipe we could find online but nothing worked. So hopefully, no parents will kill me in the morning when they come and get their kiddo's. Pray for me.

The Game: No words...we lost to the team I hate the very most. In overtime! It was heartbreaking. I hate LSU more than Auburn even. I literally am sick to my stomach. It just aches. I should have known when this day started out crappy, they were going to lose. But no matter what, I never lose faith in the Crimson Tide. I will love them forever no matter what but I really wanted/needed them to win tonight. Oh well. It is what it is. Roll Tide baby!

Tomorrow is another day. I hope it is better. The whole thing with Garrison still bothers me a lot. I keep seeing him get hit over and over in my mind. Not a good moment. It is just another reminder of how different my son is and yet how impossible it is for me to protect him. Heartbreaking on so many levels. You have no idea. Sad mama today.:(

The Words We Say

2011-11-04T00:46:00.003-05:00

Words are a funny thing. It has always amazed me how one simple word, depending on how it is said, can make such an impact on a person. I love words. I love to read, I LOVE to write, and I am passionate about things I believe in. I have been known to talk a lot. Since I was little (and yes I still do this) I would be talking to my parents and just stop mid conversation and say "I am talking too much aren't I?" As any loving parent would do, they would always reply "Not at all." We all know I was. I talk a lot and I talk fast. I have tried really hard to not do either of those things as I have gotten older but when you bring up something I am very passionate about...WATCH OUT!!! I will go on forever and good luck keeping up with me.

Since Facebook came into my life, I have had a few situations where I didn't know when to shut up and would end up getting so fired up that I would have to go outside or even jump in the shower to calm down. Buddy, who is the complete opposite of me when it comes to talking, has told me time and time again to not take it so seriously and keep in mind that most people say things on Facebook that they wouldn't say to your face. I happen to be one of the exceptions to this rule because I will pretty much say anything to anyone at any given time. Not always a good thing, but also not always a bad thing.

I have also ALWAYS been a very sensitive person. There again, not always a good thing, but not always a bad thing. I care a lot about others and can become very defensive. I care what people say about me. I will defend myself, my family, and my faith to the bitter end. I often tell people that there are only 2 things that will offend me. 1. Making fun of my beliefs/religion 2. Calling my son the R word. Those are deal breakers. You do either of those and you can turn around and never look back. I have no room in my life for anyone who would do either of those.

Well today someone said something that really upset me and quite frankly hurt my feelings. I immediately went on the attack. Then my wise husbands words were in the back of my head so I quickly deleted my comment and simply told said person "whatever." Big..no, HUGE step for me. I was so proud of myself. Some people came to my defense very quickly. two of whom actually have never even met me but recognized how inappropriate and rude this ladies comments were. One of them actually used the statement "You are not a Nazi Heather, but a child of God, wonderfully and fearfully made." That really touched me.

We make an impact on people every single day. Every person we come in contact with, we impact them in some way weather it be for good or bad. Now, if you know me well enough, you know I pretty much have zero self esteem. Something I have always struggled with, my entire life. But for some reason, that comment really touched me. It made me feel good about myself and reminded me of some things. It is a prime example of the two sides of words. A prime example of how words can be used for good and how they can be used for evil.

Working at the front desk at the Y, I see a lot of people every single day. They walk in, I say "Hi, welcome to the Y." I usually follow with a "how are you tonight dear?" (my co-workers tease me that I call everyone dear and shuge(short for sugar) ). Tonight I thought about these people I see almost every night. That is the only few seconds of contact I have with most of them. I want to make a great contact with them and let them know that I genuinely do care. That I sincerely do want them to have a good day. Who knows what trials and struggles they are each going through. We tend to put on a mask that everything is wonderful in our lives all day everyday even though we each know that everyone has something they are struggling with.

How much better would the world (and yes Facebook as well) be if we would just use our words a little better and a little kinder. Take a moment to really care about people and when you tell them to have a nice day, mean it. You never know what the impact of a few simple words will have on someone. Today, a few simple words brightened my entire day and reminded me that I am someone special.

My 2 Quiet Supporters

2011-10-31T22:55:00.004-05:00

In my blog, on Facebook, and in my every day life, I talk A LOT about Garrison and Natalie. I want to take a few minutes and talk about my other 2 AMAZING children. Rachel and Kimbo.

People who do not live in our families every day life cannot imagine what it is like to be the sibling of a special needs child. Heck, I cannot even imagine. I have seen their tears for their brother, I have heard their fears for their brother and I have witnessed some beautiful prayers in behalf of their brother. However, I have never witnessed any complaints, anger, or resentment for their brother.

My daughters Rachel (11) and Kimbo (9 in 3 days) are incredible. They both have always played the "big sister" role to their older brother and always will. I sit back and marvel at how they work with him. They help him tie his shoes, cut his pancakes and make all the funny voices he asks them to so that he will laugh and laugh.

I see the love in their eyes for him and the love in his eyes for them. It is something very special to witness. I cannot tell you how special it is to see this every single day. They get him off of the school bus every single day since I have to work. They ask him how his day was and then call me to tell me he is home safe and sound.

When Garrison has meltdowns, they cry many times, but mostly just try and help explain things to him or get things for him that they know will bring him comfort. They clean his room for him and help him brush his teeth. They sit next to him and read books to him and watch movies with him. Anyone who knows Garrison knows that watching a movie with him can be torture. He watches it in slow motion, or watches several scenes over and over and over. He many times watches it on mute and requires his sissies to do the voices for him. Yet they sit there and do it without complaining.

These two girls are so well behaved, and so responsible, it is not even normal. I have never, ever, ever seen two little girls so good. People always tell me that it is because they were raised right but I quickly say "No, they came to me that way." And they did. I feel like they deserve so much more.

This year has been extra tough money wise. When the beginning of school came around I sat them down and explained to them how sorry I was but we would not be shopping for new school clothes or new school shoes. I sobbed as I told them because they, of all people, deserve those things. Do you know their response?? "Mom! It's fine! We don't need new things. We know things are rough right now and we know how blessed we are to have all that we have." What 10 & 8 year old says that?

When all of their friends are going on amazing vacations and they tell me all the stories that their friends have shared with them, my heart breaks a little because I cannot give that to them. I say to them "I know you girls wish we could go sometime and maybe one day we will" they simply say "Mom, we know. It's no big deal." Deep down, you and I both know it is a big deal. They want just as any other kids their age wants. They deserve it probably more than many.

I feel like they carry such a heavy load and are asked to do a lot but I am confident that these lessons they are learning will carry them throughout their lives and will be invaluable to them as they grow into adults and mom's themselves. How blessed I am to have such beautiful daughters both inside an out. They bring me so much joy. They are brilliant (both straight A students every semester), spiritual (both reading their scriptures and praying in bed every single night), beautiful(inside and out), and caring.

One day, I hope to make it all up to them. In the meantime, I will continue to tell them I love them 50 times a day, I will savor every minute I have with them, and I will continue to sit back and marvel at their individual greatness. Thank You God for blessing our family with these two amazing girls!

Not Just a Piece of Bread

2011-10-28T14:27:00.002-05:00

Upon waking up this morning, I realized that all of the pancakes were gone. I felt sick for a minute until I thought, "Maybe there is more in the garage freezer." With high hopes, I quickly go out and check. I open the door and hold my breath. Oh no! We are out of pancakes. With another quick glance, I realize we are out of French Toast sticks too. Oh great. Well, toast will have to do. I get back inside the house, open the pantry only to find 1 piece of bread left. Not only is there nothing for breakfast, now I can't even make a sandwich for lunch. Panic sets in. A million thoughts start going through my head. A mental checklist of items in my pantry and fridge...to no avail. It was no use. What was I going to do now?

As you read this, you are probably thinking, "calm down and act like a grown woman." The problem is..none of that was for me. Garrison eats about 10 things. Every single morning for breakfast, he has pancakes. Not just any pancakes. Very special pancakes that are frozen and come in small packages of three. If by some odd reason we are out of those, the other options are usually french toast sticks. If we are out of those..well, to be honest, I don't ever remember being out of both because I know what it would be like if we were. Garrison probably just wouldn't eat breakfast and go to school hungry. He loves toast but usually will only eat it late at night.

Garrison also takes the exact same things in his lunch box. He has done this since Kindergarten. Same lunch, every day. Now, I realized I didn't even have enough bread to make him a jelly sandwich. Now panic may be a strong word to some of you about something that sounds so trivial. In our home, it is a different world. I was truly freaking out wondering what my son was going to have for breakfast and now lunch.

Rachel has a friend by the name of Brooke. Brooke's mom Jennifer and I came up with a plan to get kids to and from school. She takes them every day, I bring them home every day. I quickly sent her a text and asked her if she had any bread I could have. Now here is something else tricky. Garrison wont eat just any bread. If it looks too big, or wrong color, or has anything on the crust at all like seeds or flower, it is a no-go. He freaks out. She immediately text me back that she indeed had some and would bring it. I am praying that it is bread he will eat.

She pulls up, runs up to the door and hands me the loaf. A HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF!! The bread she gives me is the right kind!!! I wake Garrison up, gently inform him that we are out of...well...everything. Then hesitantly I say "How about toast?" He sits and thinks for a few minutes then says "ok." Clearly not very happy but it will work. I cannot tell you the relief that washed over me. My son was going to eat breakfast AND have a sandwich in his lunch.

As trivial as this may all sound, this is our life. Garrison is not like your picky eaters so please don't comment that your child is picky too and only likes one kind of bread. I am sure that is true but something so small as a funky piece of bread can set the tone for my son's entire day. It is not the same as your child or even my other children. They are worlds apart.

I am so grateful to Jennifer for bringing that bread. She has no clue what that bread meant to me an to my son this morning. I get a little emotional typing this because it was such a blessing to me. That bread was not just bread to me. It was an answer to this mom's prayer.

What is a best friend?

2011-10-25T23:54:00.005-05:00

So I get teased a lot about how "loosely" I use the term "Best Friend." My husband says all the time that I have too many, where others feel that since I have so many "best friends" it makes the title less important. I, for one, completely disagree. I have many, many friends. Only a handful of those would be considered one of my best. True I have about 10 amazing women that I consider my best friends but they all deserve that title. These women have been there for me through so many tough times in my life. Times that most people do not know about, and probably never will.

Some have been in my life since birth (literally) and others have been as recent as a year ago, but each of these women hold a very special place in my heart. Each of these women have qualities that make them so incredible and amazing.

Each of these women have touched my heart and spirit in ways I cannot express and wouldn't even if I could because it is far too personal. All have been there for me, even when they didn't know it.

One of them was with me almost every waking moment the week I lost my dad. She didn't leave my home until I was so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open and she was back at my parents house within an hour of when I woke up. I can never thank her enough for that but someday I hope to be able to repay her in some way.

4 of my best friends were there for me when my husband was gone and I was alone with 4 kids, one of them a newborn and I was going to school full time. Buddy was only able to come home on the weekends and these women kept me going. They watched over me and my kids like you wouldn't believe. I felt like I had a mother and 3 sisters right there on my block when my own flesh and blood was hundreds of miles away.

1 of my best friends has known me since birth. Our moms were pregnant with us together. We have more memories together than any other friend either of us have. We cried over boys who broke our hearts, girls who were just mean, and parents who just didn't understand us. We fought like sisters and drove our parents and teachers crazy.

2 of my best friends are more recent. They have helped me get through the past 3 years. These two have been there for me through some pretty tough stuff. 1 shares the life I live every day with a child with Autism and she is probably the most Christ like human being I have ever met. She has gotten me through many dark times simply through loving me and not judging me. The other has helped me see things about myself that I couldn't or didn't want to see. She has saved me in many ways and brought me into a company that will forever mean so much to me. She inspires me so much to be a better friend and a better mom.

So you see, these women all have such a special place in my heart. Even though I may not see most of them every day, or even speak to them once a week...they are my saving graces and angels that get me through my tough times when no-one else can.

All of my friends mean so much to me. I never really valued my friends until I moved to Omaha. My friends I made there really showed me what being a friend is all about. I hope each friend in my life knows that I am always here for them. I did not speak of all of my friends or even best friends on this post but they each know who they are and they know I am always here for them.

I always say to my kids "Will you be my best friend?" My 4 children and my husband top the list for sure. What better friends to have then those that you hold nearest and dearest to your heart? My list just gets longer. And you know what? That's okay. I will add more best friends I am sure as the years go by and I am blessed to be able to do that. I cherish my husband, my kids, my family and my friends. I love them all unconditionally and thank them for loving me back.

My Hero

2011-10-22T23:00:00.003-05:00

Brace yourself for a very cheesy read. I have thought and thought about what I wanted to write about these past couple of days and this subject kept coming back to me time and time again...so I am going with it.

How many times in our lives are we asked who our hero is? How many times have you given an honest answer? Sure, when we were 5, we all said Superman, or Spiderman or some of us girls even threw in Wonder Woman or She-Ra! (My personal favorite)

But now we are grown up, at least theoretically speaking, so I decided to really think about this question. Who really is my Hero? I think I have several. Both of my parents are right up there. I was blessed for 21 years with an amazing father who I miss every single day of my life. I still have the most incredible mother. The best mom ever actually. Of course I have my spiritual hero's. Jesus Christ would top that list for sure. However, I want to tell the story of my biggest hero. This person is someone I admire more than I can even say. There are no words to describe how amazing this person is. Yes it is cheesy, but I don't care. It is how I feel and once you hear my story, you may feel the same.

My husband was born with severe club feet. Not only did the doctors never think he would walk, but his hands were deformed as well. According to his mom, the doctor said "I am not as worried about his feet as I am his hands." He wasn't supposed to have use of those either. As a mother, I can only imagine what must have gone through his mothers head. How terrifying.

Buddy had surgery on his feet when he was 2 or 3 years old. The doctor who performed his surgery was the #1 surgeon in the world for Club feet. To this day, Buddy is told by physicians how "beautiful" his club feet are. Children who were born 35 years ago, who also had club feet, may have had surgery but rarely do they look as good as Buddy's. Surgery couldn't correct everything though. Buddy has been in pain his entire life. Just watch him walk across the room and you will see it. His ankles will swell so large, they are the size of softballs. He is literally in pain every day of his life. However, he has never let that stop him.

He not only has a wonderful job as an engineer (we have done some research and have found many people from our generation who were also born with club feet, collect disability and don't work at all) but he plays basketball, softball and is an avid runner. Last March, he ran his first 1/2 marathon. Did it hurt? More than you or I can imagine. But he did it, and he continues to do it. His toes overlap skin on the bottom side of his foot so he will run with 3 or 4 blisters per foot. He is amazing. He wakes up as early as 4:00 everyday so he can get his run in. He does this so he can stay healthy and lose weight. He knows it will hurt. He knows his ankles will swell. He knows it will mean that just walking down the hall will hurt like you cannot imagine but he does it.

He could use his feet as an excuse. Deservedly so! But he doesn't. He is a quiet champion. He doesn't tell many his story. He doesn't want sympathy. He isn't seeking adoration. So, he gets me who wants to stand on the mountain tops and yell "My husband is amazing!"

Since I started working nights (4-10 Monday - Friday) he is also taking on a lot of my role. He comes home from work, gets dinner made and almost always cleaned up, then gets kids to softball and/or church, helps with any homework necessary and makes sure the kids have done their daily chores. He is the most amazing support to me.

So there you have it . Heather Hopkins hero is her awesome husband. I know you all feel you have the best husband in the world. And your right. He is the best husband for you. I snagged the best one for me and I am so glad I did. He makes me laugh, he makes me smile. He makes me feel sexy as hell. TMI?? Too bad! :)

I married my soul mate and the love of my life. Buddy Hopkins, you are my hero. I love you!

Am I a Good Mom??

2011-10-20T00:23:00.002-05:00

For the past 10 months, I have had a job at the YMCA. This is not only the first real job I have had since we have been married, but really the first real job I have had my entire life. I have always dreamed of being a stay at home mom and for the last 13 years, I have been able to do that. Finally it just got to a point where I was going to have to find a job outside of my home. Not an easy thing for me to do...not because of the economy or the high rate of un-employment, but because of my own self doubt and complete and utter fear!

My job at the YMCA landed right into my lap. It was divine intervention..nothing less. As happy as I have been at the Y, it has not been without struggles. Struggles with other employees, struggles with some of the members but mostly, struggles within myself. You see, I am no different than any other mom or any other woman in general. I am my biggest critic. I am constantly second guessing myself and if I am doing the right thing. I have always done that, and I will probably always do that.

I have never been the best house cleaner, best cook, best story teller, best seamstress, best scrap-booker, best softball mom, best room mom, best example of manners..but I LOVE my kids. You see, you may come over and my house probably will not be perfect. There will be dust on some things, there will probably be dishes in the sink, and there is a very good chance that my kitchen floor will not just have been mopped. My kids may eat the exact same 7 meals every week, 1/2 of which involve some sort of fast food. I cannot sew on a button to save my life, let alone an entire dress or costume. I started scrap booking when Buddy and I first got married and did great for Garrison, good for Rachel, fair for Kimbo and awful for Natalie. I love to burp..and I mean burp REALLY loud. I call it my talent. Some call it rude. My kids call it AMAZING! I LOVE my kids.

Now, since I have started to work at the Y, I have been home a lot less which means my house is suffering, our family dinners are suffering, our story time is suffering, our family is not suffering, but sacrificing. Those sacrifices have been very hard on all of us. The hardest has been not being here when Garrison gets off of the bus or here for dinner or here to tuck them in. Those sacrifices start to wear on you fast. You start to wonder...am I a good mom? If I was, my house would be clean, my children would have well balanced meals every night, they would have a snack plate full of vegetables and dip, or warm cookies fresh from the oven, right when they walk in the door from school. They would have adorable clothes to wear to school that nobody would have any idea were home-made because I would have sewn them so beautifully. My hair would always look amazing and my make-up freshly done. I would clip coupons and save us so much money that I wouldn't have to work. That's what good mom's do right?

I have cried countless tears over these thoughts. I have beat myself up until I was so far down into a deep dark hole that I never thought I would make it out alive. Then things like tonight happen. I come into my bathroom after a long night at work and on my bathroom mirror I see "Rachel's Poem to Mom." "Mommy likes to burp, mommy likes to sleep, but most of all mommy likes being the best mommy to ME!" I am a good mom!! You know why??? Because my kids all 4 know that I love them. They know I am here for them. They know I pray for them. They know that I will do anything for them. They know that my favorite thing that I do is being their mom. They know they are my everything. Nothing else matters!

Don't say the "R" word!

2011-10-18T12:35:00.002-05:00

This is my son Garrison. He is an amazing 12 year old boy who has a very infectious laugh. He LOVES animals and can tell you anything in the world you want to know about any animal or dinosaur that ever lived. He has a crazy awesome memory. He loves sea world more than I can even express. He loves to ride roller coasters and would play video games for hours and hours a day if my husband and I allowed him to. He is extremely caring, loving, fun and as any other teenager, sometimes rather lazy. Oh and just in case you missed it, he is Autistic and clinically mentally retarded.

Now before you go with "I don't know how his parents do it" or "I am so sorry...how old was he when you got the news?" Please just stop. Think of all of the things I posted above before you focus only on the disease my son has. Let me say this..being his parents is an honor. Are we happy that he has this disease, no but he does and we love him because he is amazing. I talk about him a lot everywhere ago for many reasons. 1) Garrison can be a lot of work for us so I have to spend a lot of time with him and help him with so much more than I have to help my daughters with. 2) I love my son 3) He does things that amaze me each and every day. 4) He has an amazing spirit and light about him that will make you fall in love with him the minute you meet him. 5) I flat out want to raise awareness about Autism and it's many faces.

As you are reading this I want you to just stop right now and think of something. Have you called someone (not "mentally challenged") or something (your car for not starting, the toy you stepped on) "retarded" today? Now think of this...when you did say the "r word" (that is the only way I will refer to that word from here on out because it is so vulgar to me), what were you replacing it with? If someone at work messes up at something. have you ever said "he is so (insert R word here)?" What you meant to say was "he is so stupid" right?? So basically, every single time you use that word, you are replacing the word stupid with the R word. Why??

I have a son Garrison, (in case you missed this part previously), who is Autistic and clinically mentally retarded. Would you ever come up to me and tell me he is stupid? Hopefully not. More hopefully for you because I am pretty sure you wouldn't want my wrath on you after you telling me that. Actually, my son is brilliant. No he cannot tie his shoes, or use the bathroom or shower without much, much guidance. However, he can show you a picture of an Ibex and tell you what it is, where it lives, what it eats, what it preys on, what preys on it, and how long it lives. Do you even know what an Ibex is?

So my point is this. I am on a mission to stop everyone I come in contact with from using that word. It is fowl and it offends me to the bitter core. Next time you say that word, just think, you essentially were calling my brilliant and amazing son, stupid.

LIfe as I know it.

2011-10-17T23:32:00.002-05:00

So life has been crazy this past year...a lot, and I mean a lot has happened. Ups, and downs, goods, and bads. But I am going to make a very valiant effort to record more of my thoughts and feelings along with my days I have with my 4 precious children. I have too many amazing experiences to not be flooding my blog with posts on their wonderful lives. The joy they each bring me is unexplainable. I cannot wait to start anew on this blogging journey. I hope you will all enjoy the ride with me.

So proud of my Kimbo

2011-01-20T21:46:00.002-06:00

So Kimbo ended the school year with a broken arm..from March until the middle of June, she was in a cast on her right arm (and she is right handed). That held her back in more ways that I can tell you academically. I thought everything was fine until this school year started..when she left the 1st grade, I was told she was reading on a level 18. When she started 2nd grade, she was at a reading level of 11. I was so confused. We read like crazy over the summer. We went to the library every week. It didn't make sense. What I figure happened was this..Her first grade teacher was always raving about how brilliant she was and how way far advanced she was. So, along comes the broken arm and her teacher just let her do whatever. She had told me that she got to play the computer a lot while the kids were testing and stuff (because she couldn't write) but I never thought there was a problem because she was pulling straight A's and again, I was hearing that she was so far advanced, I never really thought to be concerned.

Well, she starts her second grade year dramatically behind. She was so sad and I was so mad. But, thankfully she has an AWESOME teacher (two of them actually) who have worked with her and pushed her and praised her so now she is on a reading level of 20. She has to be at a 30 by the end of the year. I just know she can do it.

I got her report card today..straight A's. This is not the first time for her..in fact she has only ever gotten one B and that was the first quarter of this year and it was in reading. She went from a 86 in the first 6 weeks to a 90 the second 6 weeks to a 96 today!!! I wanted to cry! I am so proud I could just burst!! Kimbo has worked and worked and worked on her reading. Now her handwriting leaves a lot to be desired. I cannot read one darn thing that girl writes but we will get there! She is my little rockstar!!!!

Whose judging who?

2011-01-14T15:58:00.003-06:00

So Buddy says that Facebook killed my blog and to some extent, he is right. But the thing about a blog is that it is an awful lot like a journal. That has good and bad things about it...The good is obvious..I have a journal that I can print out and keep for my children for years and years to come. The bad thing is that I need to sit down and just do it. I can say I don't have time (which is a very valid argument at this point in my life) but I am also lazy. Part of me doesn't want to write all of my life down for everyone to read. I am a very open person in one sense but also a painfully private person. I don't like my faults exposed. I constantly want everyone to think I am holding together beautifully and that nothing can get me down. Well, that's not true and we all know it.

One of my biggest complaints about women is that we are constantly judging ourselves and others. Who has better make-up? Who has better clothes? Whose house is cleaner? Whose children behave better? Who is a better mom? Whose car is cleaner? Who has a nicer car? It is exhausting for everyone involved. Why do we hold ourselves to standards that are not even attainable? It makes no sense to me. I am 100% guilty of it. Probably worse than most women. I drive myself crazy with it..

I hate that I can go and clean others homes and do an AMAZING job but then come home to a filthy mess! I get embarrassed every day when I go to pick my kids up and the teachers see the inside of my van. It is a disaster and that is not the person that I am. I am not a slob.. I love my car and my house to be clean but I get sick of doing it alone. I feel like nobody helps me do anything. Why is it that everyone expects mom to do it all? I am working 3 jobs (selling my jewelry, working at the YMCA and cleaning houses) and I am expected to cook, clean, help with homework, take care of problems at the school (mostly Garrison issues),do my church calling, have a clean car and look amazing while doing it all. Or am I? Do people really expect that or is it all in my head?

My husband is phenomenal. He offers every night to come home from work and cook dinner himself and yet I feel awful if I let him..that is my job. He has busted his butt at work all day so I try really, really hard to have a good dinner for him. Every single Saturday, he cleans. He would probably love to just sit and watch football but he is cleaning. (granted football may be on in the background) So who is it that I am feeling pressure from? Myself probably..society for sure but I think we do a lot of it to each other. It's OK to admit that you are not super woman. It's OK to go to walmart in your sweats or heaven forbid with no makeup on. It's OK to walk into someones house and see an inch of dust on their piano or TV. It's OK people. In the long run is that what is important? Would it be nice to always have a clean house? Heck ya but I don't. I am sure there will come a day when my world will run much more smoothly..when I feel like I have it all together. Maybe not but let's stop judging each other and just realize that we are all trying very hard to make it through each day without losing our minds.

IT'S NOT THE SAME!!!

2010-08-18T00:03:00.003-05:00

Garrison has been very sick these last 3 days. He has been running a 103-104 fever and vomiting. I took him to the doctor and they diagnosed him with strep throat. He has not moved from the couch and has done nothing but sleep or just lay there and stare. He finally asked for some Cheetos tonight. That is the first thing he has eaten since Sunday Morning. He has been very emotional and has cried over very simple things like his legs aching or wanting water and not ice chips.

Tonight, he asked me if he was going to die. I immediately came over to him and told him no. He said "because children don't die." Here is where I get confused. I told him "yes, Garrison, some children do die but you are not one of them." He immediately began bawling. "But why?" he asked. "Because Jesus misses them and wants them to come and live with Him." I replied. He then asked if grown ups died and I said they did. He then wanted to know if I was going to die. I told him I wasn't going anywhere. He cried and cried.

The confusion comes with this thought. Did I say the right thing? Should I have told him little kids don't die, just to take that fear away from him? But then what if the unthinkable happens and someone we know and love dies as a child? What then?

I tell people all of the time that he has the mentality of a 4 year old. That is true. However, he does not have the mentality of a typical 4 year old. I don't want to hear how people spoke of death with their 3, 4, and 5 year old children. I want to scream to them "IT'S NOT THE SAME!" His brain doesn't work the same as a "typical" child. I cannot explain things to him the same way I do to my other children or the same way you do to yours. IT'S NOT THE SAME!!

How do I know how to say things to him? I feel like I am letting him down. I feel like I am not even close to the mother that this amazing angel needs or deserves. Sometimes I have to sit back and just feel helpless. And before you say it, IT'S NOT THE SAME as you do with your teenagers, or your 10 year old or with your 5 year old. It is very different then any situation you have with your children.

Children with Autism process things differently than everyone else. I don't speak his language. I try. I try so hard but sometimes I just don't feel like I am living up to the mother he was intended to have. I will keep trying. I love this little boy more than I can even understand or comprehend. He is such a special spirit and I cannot even look at his hand, or cheek, or toes without smiling. He lights up my life each and every day, in a very different way than my daughters do. So I am just going to keep praying that I am getting through to him and I am helping him. I cannot and will not let him down.

In a nut shell

2010-08-03T23:09:00.002-05:00

Have you ever left somewhere and felt a piece of you stayed behind. I am not talking about a thing, or even a person necessarily but a place. For some, it could be a house, or a park, or, perhaps in my dad's case, a baseball stadium. For me it is an amazing city named Omaha. I haven't lived here for 2 years and yet, as I pull into my old neighborhood, I feel like I am home. It is not something that I can easily explain to anyone. It is a feeling of completeness. Some say I am obsessed with it. I think in many ways I perhaps am. But, in return, I am 100% okay with that fact. My neighbors are more like family to me than just "friends." They mean the world to me. Sometimes I think it is so difficult to come and visit because the thought of having to leave is incredibly overwhelming to me. I hope and pray that someday, my husband and I will get to move back here to this amazing place. If not, I am just so grateful that for a short time, my Heavenly Father allowed me to live here and meet neighbors who have changed my life forever.

Life

2010-07-23T12:48:00.003-05:00

So yes it has been several months since I have posted. I must say that not only has life been beyond crazy for our family, but I have also been doing a lot more facebooking than blogging. I will try very hard to do better though. I know not everyone is interested in facebook.

We have had a very busy summer! We have traveled a lot. We have also been swimming almost every single day. We love having the pool in our neighborhood. Plus it has been so hot and humid here in Texas that it has provided us with some much needed cooling down.

Kimbo FINALLY got her cast off. Her broken arm was a very severe break and made for quite a long journey. Most kids get their cast off in 4-6 weeks. Kimbo had hers on for 3 months. It has been a long haul but she has been one heck of a trooper! She got it off the day before we left for vacation so that was a huge bonus.

The girls are getting excited for school to start. Garrison will not be excited to find out that it starts in a month. He loves the summer and swimming and wii and sleeping etc...

Well, that is it for now because unfortunately, my daily chores are calling my name. More updates coming soon..I promise.

Kimbo playing softball

2010-03-27T14:57:00.005-05:00

My shirt says Softball Mom and the O in mom is a softball!

Today was Kimbo's very first softball game. She did great!! She played catcher and was FANTASTIC at it! She was great at hustling to get the ball when it went past her and was always on her toes ready for whatever came at her. Honestly, we couldn't be more proud of her.

Just Jewelry Seminar

2010-02-28T15:03:00.004-06:00

I just got back from our Just Jewelry seminar in Ohio. It was AMAZING!!! They showed us the new spring/summer line that will be available on March 2 and it is incredible!!! I cannot wait to get out there and sell it like crazy! The two co-owners Virgina and Nicole, asked me to speak about relationships. I was very honored that they asked me and loved having the opportunity to do it! We also got to go to the headquarters and see their offices and where they pack up and process our orders. Here are some photos!

Record Snow

2010-02-11T18:53:00.004-06:00

So it started snowing around 2 a.m this morning. By the time we woke up, we had at least 2 inches. I was shocked they didn't cancel school. Mainly because it was just supposed to get worse and quite frankly anything above 1/2 an inch around Texas and people panic. My friend called me at 10:30 and said she was going to pick her kids up and offered to pick mine up as well..it was getting worse and worse. So they came home around 10:30 and had a ball. It has snowed all day, non stop. Literally no break in the snowfall whatsoever. I just went outside and we have 8.5 inches in the front yard. Still going strong and it is not expected to stop until 2 or 3 tomorrow morning. We are loving it. Makes me miss Nebraska even more than I already do (if that is possible). Here are some pictures of the snow around 6 inches...

Finally!!!

2010-02-01T08:55:00.008-06:00

Kitchen (looking from the family room)

Family room (looking from the wall where the fireplace and T.V are)

Kitchen (door is pantry. Looking from the wall where the sink is)

I am so excited! For the first time in our married life (12 years) we are painting walls in our home. We have never lived somewhere where we thought we would be there long enough to invest the money it costs to paint a home. We plan on being here for at least 4 years (hopefully longer) so we jumped in head first and started painting. We have our kitchen complete and now we have started on our family room. It is taking some time as we do it at night but it is getting done! I am loving it!

Poor Garrison and Naddie

2010-01-27T20:36:00.002-06:00

Garrison has had a very rough couple of weeks. Last week, he was sick for 4 days straight (Saturday-Tuesday). He had a bad cold that had him coughing like crazy. He felt just awful. Then this week, he suffered all weekend with an ear infection. He missed school on Monday and then came home after about 30 minutes on Tuesday. His antibiotics have finally kicked in so he is doing much better. Here is hoping that nothing will happen this weekend.

Yesterday, Natalie broke one of snowglobes. I was so sad. It was a Kermit the Frog one that Rachel had given me for Christmas 2 years ago. I got it all cleaned up and put all of the broken glass into a box that is in our room. Well, I should have been smarter and taken that box out to the garage because somehow she thought it would be a good idea to stand on it and get to more of my snowglobes. So she cut a pretty good size chunk out of her big toe. I have never seen something bleed for so long. It wasn't the kind of cut that the doctor would be able to stitch so we opted not to take her in. Buddy super glued it shut (that is what he always does when he slices himself) and the bleeding finally stopped.

Other than that, life has been good. The days have been warmer and we have loved that. This has been the coldest winter in Texas for many, many, years. We even hit negative temperatures with the wind chill this year. Of course it is the year we move here! Better than what Omaha and Flagstaff have had to endure! We are gearing up for Garrison's birthday next week. Holy cow, he will be 11. Almost more than I can handle. I hate that my kids have to grow up. Just not fair!!

Our Story in a Nutshell...

2010-01-14T22:08:00.002-06:00

Rachel's teacher has a friend who wrote a children's book. She is looking for a children's charity to donate the proceeds to. Heather (Rachel's teacher) called me and suggest I send her our family's story about Garrison. So I did. Here is what I wrote....

Hello Susan! My name is Heather Hopkins and Heather Rogers is my daughters teacher. Heather told me about your book and that you were looking for a charity to perhaps donate some of the proceeds to. She suggested I contact you and share our story.

We have a beautiful 10 year old son Garrison who is Autistic. Garrison was diagnosed with autism on December 2 of 2003. In 2003, there was not nearly as much known about Autism as there is now. It was not nearly as common. That day changed our lives forever. Not just the lives of my husband and I but also the rest of children as well. Garrison is not considered high functioning nor is he on the most severe end. He has made some great progress with a lot of hard work and great people who have blessed our lives. I personally think it would be a wonderful thing to find a cure for Autism however, my #1 concern is raising awareness.

I cannot tell you how many battles I have had to fight, how many judging looks and comments I have had to endure as people have observed my son. The staring is ridiculous. You would think that he had a third eye the way people stare at him as he jumps up and down and squeals repeatedly. The laughing sometimes is more than I can bare. I desperately want people to learn more about this disease that now affects 1 in 110 children. That is an astounding number.

Autism Speaks is probably the most well known and respected program out there. I would love for you to do your own personal research and see just how devastating the lack of knowledge can be to a family who lives with Autism.

I adore my son. I love him just the way he is. I often tell people that if God himself came down and offered to take the Autism away, I wouldn't let Him because there is nothing wrong with my son. Garrison is perfect just the way that he is. I am grateful for his 3 younger sisters, 2 of which are old enough to understand their brothers differences. They are incredibly protective of him and help him with everything from brushing his teeth, to making sure he makes it to his classroom at school, to calming him down in the middle of a crowded restaurant.

Susan, I am a very blessed mom to have been entrusted with such an angelic little boy. I want anyone and everyone to know how amazing these children are. I hope that Autism is something you will consider learning more about. Thanks for listening.

Heather Hopkins

Life

2010-01-12T13:53:00.002-06:00

It would seem that I am a little too involved in Facebook to ever post on here but I promise to be better this year. I personally feel this is a great way to "journal" for my family. I really need to be better. As far as events in our lives, nothing too crazy. I am working very hard on my jewelry business. I LOVE selling this product..I just need to get some parties going. The owners of the company actually sent me an email and asked me if I would be willing to participate in our annual seminar in February! Wow!!! I am so excited to do that. Now I just need to ensure that I can earn enough money to go! So if ANYONE out there is willing to have a party or catalog party for me this month, I would GREATLY appreciate it. Plus..you earn DOUBLE the hostess benefits if you host a party in January! So it is a win/win for all involved.

Kids are doing great! They love it here and I pretty much love anywhere that is not NM so we are all good. Buddy likes his job and we love our house. We are excited to paint!! We have never painted a house before because quite frankly we haven't lived anywhere long enough to do so! So we are excited to paint over these next few weeks. I promise that I will post pictures when I am done! I don't want everyone to see my house until it is where I want it to be!

So here is to 2010!! New possiblilities and great things coming I am sure!!!

Happy Birthday Kimbo!

2009-11-05T09:16:00.003-06:00

(This is an apron that Kimbo made. It is made of felt and has a ziploc bag on front that is holding all of her supplies.)

Yesterday my sweet Kimbo turned 7!! I cannot believe it!!!!!!!! What a joy miss Kimbo is to our family. Her creativity never ceases to amaze me. This amazing little girl can create some of the most interesting things. Kimbo is a very sensitive little girl who is always putting the wants and needs of others before her own. When I look at Kimbo, I see myself at her age. Her sweet little freckles on her nose melt my heart daily. Kimbo is such a spititual little girl. She loves her Heavenly Father and her Saviour Jesus Christ. She loves to read the scriptures and says such beautiful prayers.

Kimbo, thanks for being such an amazing little girl and making me smile each and every day. I love you so very much!!

Happy Halloween!!

2009-10-31T21:24:00.003-05:00

Here are our trick or treaters!! They had such good time..Garrison was Luigi, Kimbo was a vicious vampire, Rachel was a black cat, and Natalie was the Alabama mascot. I made home made chicken noodle soup and rolls for dinner, then as soon as our tummys were full, we were off. Naddie was the biggest hit..Her little "trick or treat" was just precious! I will say we got some interesting responses living here in Texas with our Alabama mascot in tow...All in good fun though! I put bows on her ears to make sure that people knew she was a girl. :)

Kimbo said trick or treat in her best vampire voice at every door, Garrison was jumping up and down at every door because he was so over stimulated, and rachel couldn't see out of her mask very well so her main focus was not falling..boy were we quite the sight.

No thanks needed

2009-10-22T17:39:00.002-05:00

I got the best email ever today. Turns out, you can send other people emails from your Wii. Let's rewind a little bit...Instead of a birthday party, Rachel asked to go to the American Girl Doll store in Dallas. It was just her and I. We had lunch at their little cafe and bought some cute things for her doll. When we were there, I could not believe how many people were there with their daughters buying what I am sure amounted to be hundreds of dollars of dolls and clothes. One doll alone is about $114. As a mom, you want nothing more than to be able to do the same for your child. I was so worried that Rachel was looking around at these girls and thinking the same thoughts that I would have been at her age.. "I wish we could by all of those things." I honestly was feeling kind of bad looking at these moms and daughters with their shopping bags full with items. I tried to make it a fun day for her but some times you never feel you can do enough. Rachel never once said anything of the sort and in fact told me multiple times how much fun she was having and how glad she was that we did this. Then today I get this....

Dear mom thank you so so so much
for the Amaracin girl doll store! I
would say thank you a milan times if
I ccould but of cors it would bug you.
Love always Rachel!

My eyes immediatly filled with tears. I hope she knows that it was a day that I will never forget! It is a day with her that I will treasure forever. I guess the fact that we don't have hundreds of dollars to spend at these fancy stores doesn't matter to her. It was just being together that made our day special! As a mom, it is our job to be there for our daughters and to create these special memories with them. Money does not need to be a factor, just lots of smiles, giggles and of course, love!

Happy Birthday Rachel!!

2009-10-20T16:26:00.002-05:00

Today is Rachel's 9th birthday! What a beautiful 9 year old she is..both inside and out! Our family is so blessed to have such a wonderful young lady in our home. Rachel is so caring and kind and is always willing to help out anyone who is in need. She is loved by all who meet her! Rachel we love you much and hope you have an amazing birthday today!!!

Our New Family Member

2009-10-16T07:00:00.004-05:00

Some friends of ours gave us their sweet little Maltipoo! His name is Jay (I am in no way a fan of that name but it is what he came with and Garrison wont let us change it.) and because he is a Maltipoo, he is hypoallergenic and doesn't shed so Garrison is not sneezing and rubbing his eyes like crazy! Garrison was scared to death at first, but by the time an hour had gone by, they were sleeping next to each other. All of the kids love him! It is so fun to have a dog. He is such a great dog. He is 3 years old, housebroken and never barks! We are so excited to welcome Jay to our family!

Autism Walk

2009-10-04T16:46:00.004-05:00

This is Garrison and his "girlfriend" Skylar. According to Skylar, who is also autistic, they WILL be married one day.

It is that time of year again!!! We are so excited to participate in the Autism walk here in Dallas! Once again, our entire family will be participating! We love doing this not only to help raise money and awareness for Autism but it also gives us an opportunity to tell others about our amazing son and to be surrounded by those who are living the same life we are, facing the same struggles we are and getting through each day in the same ways we are.

If you are interested in donating you cann go to http://www.walknowforautism.org. Scroll down to the Dallas/Ft. Worth Texas walk. Click on the donate tab and type in my first and last name. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. If you cannot donate, that is no problem..just do us a favor and be patient with those children and adults who have Autism and any other disability. They are incredibly special spirits that if you allow them into your lives, will change you forever!!

Thanks for all of your support!!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

2009-10-02T11:38:00.003-05:00

You can barely see because just then, a teacher and a parent stood in my shot, but this is her getting her little necklace.

Here she is wearing both awards

At Sendera Ranch Elementary, every Friday, they have an assembly and each week, one grade hands out awards for certain characteristics. Today was 1st grade awards and the award was for respect! Each 1st grade teacher picks 3 or 4 students and they get to come up in front of the entire school and get an army tag type necklace. Then, the P.E. teacher picks 5 students out of the entire 1st grade to get a fairness award as well. I got an email from Kimbo's teacher earlier this week telling me that she had chosen kimbo to recieve the respect award from her. This is kept secret from the kids so they are surprised that morning. So I went to the assembly and saw her get this award...then the P.E. teacher got up to announce the 5 first graders who would recieve her fairness award and Kimbo won that too!!!!!!!! At that point, I got emotional!!! I was bursting with pride. She was the only one who got 2 awards!! As a mother, I am so proud of my kids anytime they do anything well, win any awards, or achieve great things however, when your child recieves an award for showing great respect to their teachers and other students and being fair when participating in sports or playing games at school, well, that is the ultimate for me!!! An award recieved for the character is the best award of all.

Kimbo , we couldn't be more proud of you and the wonderful daughter you are! Your kindness to all around you and the respect you show to everyone shows what an incredible child you are! We love you so very much!!!

My Sweet Boy

2009-09-17T22:05:00.003-05:00

Garrison wanted me to take some pictures of him tonight. He is just such a sweet boy! He brings so much fun and love into our home! His innocence is just amazing to me. He accepts and loves everyone. I do not feel worthy enough to have the honor of having such a special spirit in my home. Children with special needs are sent here to teach US not the other way around. In my opinion, they are the Lord's way of letting us know He is near and loves us. These special children are His angels sent to earth to help us feel Him near. Thank you son, for all you do for me. I love you!

My New Business

2009-08-31T15:46:00.003-05:00

I am so excited!! I just started a new business with a small and yet wonderfully successful company called Just Jewelry. I have been buying this extremely affordable jewelry from a friend for almost a year and now I am selling it myself. Here is the scoop....Everything is a set price. Necklaces are $20, Earrings are $10, Bracelets are $15, watches are $26 and our sterling silver rings are only $38. You are not going to get this great of jewelry at this great quality anywhere. The new fall line just came out today and I am so excited about it. If you are interested in looking, you can go to http://www.itsjustjewelry.com and look it over. If you are interested in ordering, please let me know!

On September 4th I will be having a $1000 day. This means I am going to be trying to sale $1000 worth of jewelry in ONE day!! As a bonus, for every $50 you spend, you will receive a great ring (details are on the website) and ONE lucky person will get all of the hostess benefits from the sales of that day. I will be picking randomly so ANYONE can win.

So shop, shop, shop, and PLEASE tell your friends!!

Sold Our House

2009-08-01T13:16:00.003-05:00

We got some of the best news of our entire lives last night!!! We finally sold our home in Omaha. What an incredible blessing!!! It has been for sale for a year and a half. I cannot even begin to tell you the amount of stress that has now been lifted from both Buddy and I. Even though it took so long, I can say with conviction that I know that Lord had a plan and all would be okay. It was hard sometimes to keep that thought, but regardless, I always knew. It couldn't have happened at a better time as we will be moving in less than a month.

We are excited for sure. I am so grateful for the memories that we created within that home and more importantly for the friends that we were so blessed to make while we lived there. They have become more than friends to us and a lot more like family. Thanks for being so wonderful to us and especially for all of the prayers that have been prayed in our behalf.

Disturbing

2009-08-01T13:15:00.002-05:00

Okay, well, I finally think I am going to go private on my blog. I just read a very disturbing article about some adoption agency using a little boys picture in a hoax adoption scam. The people got the picture of some ladies family blog. So anybody who wants access, send me your info and I will add you to my list. FREAKY!!! You can either email me or post a comment with your email address.

Happy Birithday Natalie!!

2009-06-29T11:58:00.002-05:00

Today is Natalie's 2nd birthday. I absolutely cannot believe it. Naddie brings such a joy and happiness to our home. We all love to watch her dance and sing and her smile can light up an entire house. I feel incredibly blessed to have such an amazing daughter in my life.

Fun in Omaha

2009-06-12T18:06:00.003-05:00

Kimbo and Emma playing together under the tree in our front yard.

Rachel and Carly playing on their scooters.

Kimbo, Natalie, Carly, Emma, Alexa, and Rachel

Wow has it been a crazy week!!! So much fun though. We have LOVED being here with our dear friends here in Omaha!! We have missed everyone so very much!! We have been out to lunch with friends, roller skating, swimming, hanging out in the driveway (of course!!!) and just having an amazing time!!! When I got here, I had found that my amazing neighbors had made up airbeds for us in our rooms, they had a travel crib for Naddie and the bathrooms were stocked with towels and washcloths. The kitchen had dishes, pots and pans, silverware and dish soap and hand towels. My kitchen even had a small card table with a table cloth over the top of it and two fold up chairs around it. It was just awesome. My best friend Tena even had a refrigerator brought down to put into my garage!!! And people wonder why I love it here so much!! With friends like these can you blame me???

10 years ago today....

2009-05-30T18:35:00.003-05:00

10 years ago today, I lost my dad. Man, do I miss him still so very much. It is amazing how there are some days where I still get the urge to pick up the phone and call him. I miss hearing his voice. I miss so much about him. My dad was one amazing man. He was incredibly generous. He was a wonderful dad who was always there for me. He was always complimenting me on everything from my outfit, to the decisions I had made. I was there when my dad died. I saw it all. As hard as those images are to have in my head, I am grateful I got to be with him in those final moments. It was just me and my mom, and that is a moment in time I will cherish always. I feel incredibly blessed to have been in his daughter and for all of the love he gave me while on this earth. That's all I can write for now....

While the boys are away...the girls will play!!!

2009-05-21T00:20:00.003-05:00

Dessert at Johnny Rockets!! Sooo yummy!!!

Kimbo getting her manicure

Rachel getting her manicure

Rachel's first pedicure

Kimbo's first pedicure!!!

Buddy and Garrison went on a father and sons campout for church the weekend of May 15th and 16th. So, I asked my friends if they would watch Natalie so I could take the older girls on a date with their mom. We had such an amazing time. First we went to get our toes and nails done. They LOVED that. It was so cute watching them. They were the hit of the salon. Then we went to this awesome diner called Johnny Rockets. It is just like a 50's diner. We were laughing so hard (at Kimbo's antics of course) and just had an awesome time. Then we went SHOPPING!!!! What is a girls night without shopping??? We were so tired after all of that was finished so we topped the night off with watching "Hairspray" of which the girls lasted maybe 20 minutes before they conked out. It was a wonderful night. I will honestly hold it close to my heart for years to come. Thanks for being such wonderful and fun girls Rachel and Kimbo!! I love you so much!!!

Kindergarten Graduation!!!

2009-05-21T00:06:00.002-05:00

Kimbo look so scholarly!! :)

Ms. Ray (the EA), Kimbo and her teacher Mrs. Varnell

Kimbo was in charge of the letter Q for the "Kindergarten ABC's"

Kimbo walking into the room trying so hard to keep her hat from falling off.

Well, today was Kimbo's kindergarten graduation. We are so proud of her. She looked so cute walking into the room with her cap on. I cried of course!! Kimbo has grown up so much this year. She is such an incredible joy in our home. She has been such a blessing to me. She truly does light up not only our home, but my life. Here's to you, our big 1st grader!!!!!!! I love you to pieces!!!

Happy Birthday Babe!!!

2009-05-14T11:07:00.002-05:00

Today is Buddy's 34th birthday. I just wanted to take a moment and tell him (and everyone else) just how much this amazing man means to me. I love him more than words can say. He sacrifices so much for our family and his patience (especially with me) never ceases to amaze me. He is such an amazing dad. He loves his kids and shows them continuously how special they really are. He is an incredibly hard work and extremely loyal. I could go on, and on, and on, and on... but you get the point. Happy Birthday to the love of my life.

Lovin' me some NASCAR!!!

2009-04-20T19:09:00.003-05:00

Elliott Sadler's car. This is Buddy's favorite driver

Jamie McMurray's car. He is my favorite driver

Buddy and I Saturday night after the race.

The kids and I at the Friday night race

Our family Friday night after the race

One of the good things about living in New Mexico, is that we are only about 6 hours away from Phoenix International Raceway where every April and November, they have a NASCAR race. We like to go in April because the race is on a Saturday night rather than a Sunday. So this past weekend, we went!! We had a blast.

We arrived in Phoenix late Thursday night and spent that night at my good friend Kim's house. Friday afternoon, we met up with some of my most dearest friends Vickie, Suzie, Missy, Trisha, and of course Kim. It was so much fun to see everyone. We ate at In-N-Out which is my most favorite food on this planet.

We actually took the 3 older kids to the race on Friday night. That race is the Nationwide series which is kind of like the minor leagues. Tickets are significantly cheaper. We had so much fun. The kids were blown away by how much louder and faster the cars were in real life. After about 30 laps, they were done. We were joined by our brother in law Mike and 3 of his boys and Buddy's sister Melissa and her husband Chris and 3 of their kids. It was so nice for all of the cousins to be together for this.

Saturday Morning, we met up with Buddy's friends Branden and his wife Ashely and their two very sweet twin boys, and his friend Greg and his wife Amy and their two sweet kids. It was so fun to get to see them.

Then on Saturday night Buddy and I and Melissa and Chris went to the Sprint Cup race. This is where the big dogs race. It was amazing. We have gone one time before but I cannot tell you how much I just love the whole atmosphere of being there live. It is unbelievable. I know what most are thinking about your average NASCAR fan but let me just say, yes many of them may be rednecks but...I have grown up in a family that was full of die hard sports fans and I have been to many professional sporting events and NEVER have I been to an event where everyone is so accepting and kind to each other. It is like a family of about 30,000 people. Yes there is your "typical" fan who looks like everything you may have ever heard. And yes, there is quite a lot of alcohol (what sporting event to you go to where alcohol is not running rampid through most spectators bodies) but I love being there and enjoying the sport with all of those people who love it just as much, if not more than I do.

The noise is indescribable. the speed of the cars cannot be comprehended. And for all of you non fans out there, there is a whole heck of a lot more involved then these men going round and round a track in circles. It was awesome!!! My driver came in 11th so that was pretty darn cool as well.

Mission Update

2009-04-02T21:25:00.002-05:00

Okay!!!!! He is going to Sierra Leone (the country) Freetown (the capital city) West Africa (the continent) English speaking mission. He will report to the Ghana MTC on July 31st. He will only wear a suit to arrive to the MTC and then from the time he gets there, he will wear a white shirt and tie and slacks with sandals!!! He is so excited!!! Of course...so are we!!!! I love you Ryan!!!!

I Hope They Call Me On A Mission

2009-04-01T19:53:00.002-05:00

So tomorrow around 8:00 p.m., my phone should be busy so do not call. My nephew Ryan will be telling me where he will be serving his mission!!! I am beside myself with excitement!!! Those who know me well, know that I am very, very close with my nieces and nephews. Probably because I have been an aunt since I was 10. Being the youngest of 6, I have so many nieces and nephews. I love them all so very much!! This will be the first grandchild to serve a mission. He is the oldest boy. I am so proud of him for making the decision to go. He is going to be an amazing missionary!! He has such in incredibly strong testimony of the church. I am so excited for him but jealous of those he will be serving as they will get to be with him for 2 years, and I wont!!

I love you Ry-Ry!!! I CANNOT WAIT FOR "THE CALL"!!!!!!!

My Husband Should Have Been an Orthodontist!!!

2009-03-16T16:45:00.002-05:00

This morning Rachel had her first of what turns out to be many, visits with the orthodontist. Let me start with I LOVE this office. The people are amazing. Everyone from the receptionist to the orthodontist himself. They have like 4 video arcade games for siblings to play if they so choose. They have a huge fish tank which I cannot wait for Garrison to see. They gave not only Rachel a capri sun but Natalie too. After Rachel was done she got like 4 full size candy bars. Probably not the best thing for a girl who just had 2 cavities filled but after all she went through today, she probably deserves them. They were just so family friendly. It was wonderful...until I got "the news." Poor Rachel has her fathers teeth only worse. She has a very significant over-bite. Her mouth is way too small to fit all of her teeth in so the crowding is out of control.

We will go in on April 2nd and get a "guard" which will fit in the top of her mouth. We will crank it every day to slowly expand her upper teeth to allow more room for her future permanent teeth. That will stay on for 3-4 months after which she will get braces on her top and bottom teeth. Those will stay on for a year. After those come off, we will wait until she is 12 or 13 at which time she will get another full set. Hearing this I became incredibly dizzy with dollar signs floating around my head instead of birds.

The funny (okay not so funny) part of it all is the secretary told me that we have incredible dental insurance. So $2300 is a good price for all of this??? Wow!!! I know it will all be worth it for her to have a beautiful smile but my wallet will be MUCH lighter for the next year as I pay this off.

In short...my husband definately picked the wrong profession.

Ahhhh the 80's

2009-03-13T13:56:00.003-05:00

Last night I saw a picture of a girl friend and she was wearing one of these charm necklaces. The memories came flooding back!!! When I was in elementary school I LOVED these necklaces. I had a million of these charms. Some of them even worked like the toilet one where the lid came up and down!!! I got on eBay to see if I could still get one and holy moly..they are going for like $40!!!!!! So I guess I will just have to relive the memories by looking at pictures on the internet!!!

You Should See The Other Guy!!!

2009-03-08T22:05:00.003-05:00

So I wake up around 9:00 on Saturday morning. I lay there for a second allowing myself to fully wake up. I reach over to grab my cell phone to see what time it is and holy moly, I have a text from Buddy. It came it at about 7:30. I knew he was gone because he goes early every Saturday morning to play basketball at the Stake Center. The text read.."I am going to get stitches at the hospital you went to for your burn. I am ok." Are you kidding me???? I jumped out of bed and tried to call him. No answer. Of course. I take a minute to figure out what the heck I was supposed to do. I thought of calling my neighbor to come and sit with the kids so I could rush down there but I thought he will probably be finished by the time I got there. A few minutes later, Buddy calls me.

He was playing basketball ( I knew that already) and some guy was on his way down to the court to make a basket and Buddy tried to steal the ball and the guy accidentally elbowed him right between the eyes. Turns out he had to get 5 stitches. Of course the other guy is fine. He felt awful for hurting Buddy. My poor hubby. I think he learned that next time he needs to call me and not text. At least I hope he did!!!!

The In-Laws

2009-02-18T10:58:00.003-06:00

(My Mother and Father in law. Rosemary and Gary)

(Rachel with Alyssa and her boyfriend Andy)

(Kimbo with Buddy's Aunt Kathy)

(Garrison saying goodbye to Mitzi)

(Rachel with Bob and Lucy)

I feel the need to get sentimental and mushy. I have many friends who I often hear complain like crazy about their spouses family. Either it is their mother in law is too over-bearing or their sister in law is too judgmental or their spouses aunt and/or uncle are just nuts. Well I have to say that I have been extremely blessed with AMAZING in laws. My mother and father in law are just fantastic. They know when to step in and offer guidance and advice and yet they know when we have things under control and don't butt in. They respect our decisions as parents and support us 100%. They have made me feel loved and as much of a daughter as their own daughters. I love them unconditionally and will be eternally grateful for their love and guidance.

I cannot say enough about Buddy's two sisters. I ADORE them. I am as close to them as I am my own sisters. They are two of my dearest friends.

Buddy's dad is the oldest of 7 kids. One, sadly past away as an infant so it was just Buddy's dad and his 5 sisters. Now let me tell you..when you get these 5 sisters together...LET THE FUN BEGIN. There is nothing these ladies will not do. It wouldn't surprise me in the slightest to see them bungee jumping off some bridge. When you are around them, hold on to your pants. They are a blast. Often times, all 6 of them (including Buddy's dad) will burst out into song. If you say anything that resembles a song, they start singing. The cool thing is they sing very well together. I love to hear them sing.

While living in Omaha, I got the awesome opportunity to get to know one of Buddy's aunts (Lucy) and one of Buddy's cousins (Mitzi) so much better. Mitzi lived in a suburb of Omaha and Lucy lived a few hours away in a small town in Iowa. I loved this opportunity. I grew to love and cherish these two amazing women. They got to know our children and my children grew to love an absolutely adore them. Garrison grew very close to Mitzi, Kimbo grew very close to Mitzi's husband Al, and Rachel grew very close to Mitzi's daughter Alyssa. It was so fun to see the love that each of my kids developed for them. Thank you Mitzi and Lucy (and of course Al, Bob, Nicolas, Christian, and Alyssa) for all you did for us while we were there). We miss you more than words can say.

In short, I feel incredibly blessed to have such amazing in laws. Yes they are a tad bit crazy at times, a tad bit loud sometimes, and a bit passionate about their college football but you know what??? I wouldn't trade any of them for anything. (Not to mention that they have done a darn good job at sucking me into their Alabama football obsession.) I will forever love them all. Thank you to all of the Hopkins clan for loving me.

My New Hobby

2009-02-14T21:54:00.005-06:00

So my mom and step dad came to visit a week ago and while they were here they taught me how to make these blankets. Now those who know me, know that I cannot even sew a button on a shirt. Crafty things just are not my cup of tea. However, this was so easy. I am sure those of you who already know how to do it are thinking "Hello, it's not rocket science." However, I am very excited about it as it is a huge accomplishment for me. The first one is Kimbo's. That was the first one I ever did. It is Monkeys. The second one is Natalie's. She is obsessed with Elmo. I found this material today and thought she would just love it. She is now in bed so we won't know until morning. I am so excited about them!!!

P.S. I just added a picture of Rachel's. It is frogs. I made it this morning. I seem to do better every one I do. Poor Kimbo got the smallest and least attractive one. She loves it though!!

Happy 10th Birthday Sweet Boy!!!!

2009-02-03T17:47:00.003-06:00

Today is Garrison's 10th birthday. I can hardly believe it. I remember so vividly the day he was born. It seemed like he would never get here. I could hardly wait to see the beautiful angel that me and my amazing husband had helped create. The minute I saw him, I was overwhelmed with the love I felt for him. He truly was an angel from above. To this day, I do not quite know what I did to deserve such an amazing little boy but I am sure grateful to a loving Heavenly Father who trusted me enough to entrust him in my care. Anytime I talk about Garrison, I have a difficult time controlling my emotions and even as I write this, I have tears in my eyes. When you have a child with special needs, there is just a different and most sacred spirit about them. He knows no hate and loves all who come in contact with him. He is so accepting of all. His innocence is just precious. I love you son. Thank you for all of the joy you have and continue to bring into my life.

Pine Wood Derby

2009-01-24T18:47:00.002-06:00

So the pine wood derby is next week. Garrison really has no idea what that even is but each year we try very hard to get him to help in making the car. This year, Buddy came up with the idea to do a "Yoshi" car. Yoshi is a character off of the Nintendo Wii game MarioKart. He actually did a great job in helping this year. When they did the weigh-in the other night, all of the boys LOVED his car. We are excited for the race this Wednesday.

High School Musical on Ice

2009-01-24T16:08:00.005-06:00

High School Musical on ice came to Rio Rancho a few weeks ago and would you believe that tickets on opening night were only $11??!!!! So my next door neighbor Becky and her daughter Sophie came along with us. We had such a great time. The girls all sat and sang along to every single song. It was so fun watching how excited they got. We had such a good time.

Getting Better

2009-01-10T18:39:00.003-06:00

This is me and my next door neighbor Becky and my neighbor Amy!!!

This is me, Stephanie, Danae, Amy and Becky on our girls night out!!!

So after my last post I thought it only right that I let everyone know that these past two days have been my best (emotionally) since I moved here. I made a few new friends and even went out to dinner with a group of girls and had a blast. Then me and my next door neighbor decided to dye my hair!!! We had to do it twice because the first time made no difference. The second time however....wow!!! I love it. In the pictures it looks red but it is really just brown. Not very much red at all. It looks awesome.

Are You Kidding Me?????

2009-01-06T22:11:00.004-06:00

It is no secret that since I moved to Albuquerque, I have struggled. I am not happy here and spend more time crying and sad than I do with a smile on my face. One of my new years resolutions was to try and help myself before I lost my mind; literally. So I made some very personal commitments that each involve bettering myself physically, emotionally and most importantly spiritually.

Every April and October Buddy and I DVR each session of conference so that we can watch it throughout the next 6 months until the following session. Well just this morning, I was listening to Elder Wirthlin's talk "Come What May, and Love It." It is a beautiful talk that brings tears to my eyes each time I listen to it or read it (In the Ensign). Well, if you haven't heard it, it talks about smiling and laughing your way through life; don't take things so seriously. Life is too short to get mad over everything.

Today has not been a good day. I won't get into a lot of details but it just seemed to be one thing right after another. Tonight, I left the kids with Buddy and went to do some shopping at Walmart. Those of you who don't know, New Mexico is home to some of the rudest people on this planet. That is not a secret. The rudeness of people here never ceases to amaze me. Tonight was the ultimate. I was in line to check out and started putting my groceries onto the conveyer belt when this couple walks up and just starts putting their stuff on at the exact same time right behind me. I wasn't even done putting my stuff on. I had a ton of stuff left. They didn't put a divider down or anything. I turn around and say "Are you kidding me?" They completely ignore me and just keep going. So I take about 5000 deep breaths and grab a divider to at least seperate our things (I had to push some of their things back just to make room). I am thinking "where in the heck am I supposed to put the rest of my stuff?" I litterally have no room. So, I scoop up the several items still in my cart into my arms and have to hand each item to the cashier. I was blown away. Now those who know me well, know that I don't handle rudeness very well. Normally I would have caused a big ole scene and probably have made myself look just as stupid as them. I thought of Elder Wirthlins talk and how it just wouldn't be worth it. So I bit my tounge (I wont be able to talk for days I bit so hard) and just paid for my items and left. I called Buddy right away and just broke down in tears. I was so angry. How can people be so rude? I just don't get it. It seems every where I go here, people are just like that.

Now I know that I didn't laugh at the situation like I probably should have but hey, I didn't deck the guy either so that has to count for something right????

So here is to trying to make myself happier in a place that I hate. I am really trying everyone. I honestly am.

P.S. I have to add that there are things that I love about Albuquerque. Most importantly, my awesome husband whom I have missed so desperately the past 2 years and especially the past year. I would follow him anywhere just so we could be together.

I am grateful for a cousin whom I have a renewed relationship with. Without her, I don't know what I would do. She has been an angel in my life since I moved back here. I love her dearly.

I also LOVE my house. It is perfect for our family. It is so beautiful. LOVE IT!!!

I also love that we are closer to our "biological" families. I have missed living so close and being able to just drive in a few hours to see my nieces and nephews who have all been such an important part of my life. Not to mention being closer to my mama!!!!! *I say biological because I feel that I left a family (some biological, but most not) back in Omaha when we left.*

Lasagna Anyone???

2008-12-29T20:37:00.002-06:00

I don't think just a wipe will clean this big mess up!!!!!

Merry Christmas!!!

2008-12-25T15:56:00.003-06:00

Garrison playing his new Wii game

Our new Trampoline (safety net is not up yet)

After Santa came

Jammies opened up on Christmas Eve

Our family wanted to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. Let us all take some time to remember that without our Savior Jesus Christ, none of us would be here. I am grateful for Him and all that he did and continues to do for me and my family. I am grateful for Mary and Joseph and their undying faith. I am grateful for the great care they took in caring for the Prince of Peace.

I am thankful for my family. This year has not been an easy one for me or them and I know that without each of them, I would not have made it through. My children give me strength to go on and to realize that this beautiful life is truly a treasure.

I am thankful for my husband. He truly is my everything. Without him, I would be nothing. I am grateful for all of the sacrifices he has made for our family. I am grateful for his testimony of the gospel and his love for our Heavenly Father and Savior. Thank you Buddy for everything.

I am grateful for my friends. You know who you are. I am grateful for their love and guidance. I am grateful for their faith during tough times. I am grateful for their love for me no matter what. They do not judge me and love and respect me for who I am. Some who read this have been my friend since birth (literally) and others have been my friend for a few months but you all mean so much to me. Omaha, I love you!!!!!

I am grateful for my wonderful parents who have given me so much. The testimony of my parents has carried me through many difficult times. Even though my mom lives far away, and my dad is gone, I feel their love each and every day.

I am thankful for this wonderful day. I am thankful that it gives me the opportunity to sit and realize just how lucky I truly am. I have four beautiful children, an amazing husband, friends and family that all mean everything to me. I am thankful for the gospel. It is why I am who I am.

I am most importantly thankful for my Savior. I cant express enough how thankful I am for the Atonement. He paid the price for me and my sins and I find myself much less than worthy of that kind of love. However, He gives it to me none-the-less. I try every day to do as He would have me do. I can never repay Him for all of my blessings. Merry Christmas everyone. We love you.

Happy Birthday Dad!

2008-12-16T09:35:00.003-06:00

Today would have been my dads 69th birthday. This day is always rough especially since it is so close to Christmas. Christmas always makes me miss my dad as it was such an important holiday to him. My dad LOVED Christmas. It meant that he got to buy gifts for not only his family but many times other families as well. He loved to make others happy. He was such a generous man. He also loved to celebrate the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ. My dad had such a love for the Savior. He had an incredible testimony of the gospel. He loved The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day saints. He was proud to be a member of this great church.

My dad was such an amazing man. Of course he had his faults and knew very well how to embarrass me but what an incredible dad he was. He loved his family unconditionally. He treated my mom like a queen and expected her children to do the same. He always complemented me. It is funny how siblings can be to each other and he would hear some comments made and then later in the day would pull me aside and let me know how special I was. I cannot tell you how many of those instances I still remember and carry with me close to my heart.

When my father passed away, it was just me and my mom there with him waiting together for the paramedics. The last thing my dad ever said to me was "Don't cry Heather, everything is going to be okay." I knew at that moment that he was going to die that morning. Moments later he did. Once we found out that my dad had a terminal illness (8 days prior to his death) he was not afraid of dying. He knew the gospel was true and he knew that he had tried his hardest to live righteously. His concerns laid with his wife and family. He was worried about us being okay without him. That is the kind of man my father was. He never worried about himself. Always putting others in front of him. At times when you thought he would be so angry at you for something, those were the times that he was the most compassionate. At least with me. I cannot speak for my other siblings.

I miss my dad so very much. There is not a minute of a day that goes by that I do not think of him. I miss him so much. I just want him to be proud of me and know that I love him so very much. Thanks for being my dad. Thanks for loving me and giving me such a wonderful childhood. Thanks for loving our mom and showing us how to not only respect others but to be respected. I love you daddy poo!!!

Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow!!!

2008-12-15T18:31:00.003-06:00

It has been snowing all day today and the kids couldn't be more excited. Now when it snows here, it doesn't always stick like it does in Nebraska but sometimes we get lucky. By the end of the storm later this week we may actually have some decent accumulation. As of now we have a few inches. The kids came right home from school and started playing. After they played for a little bit, they came in and had some hot chocolate. It was so fun.

Happy Anniversary!!!!

2008-12-14T01:33:00.003-06:00

Today, (Pretend this is being posted on December 13) is our 11 year anniversary. It has been such a wonderful day and an amazing 11 years. First off, I want to tell my husband Buddy just how much I love him. He truly is the love of my life. He is my soul mate. I am so blessed to have him in my life. He has stood by me through thick and thin and loves me no matter what. He has put up with quite a lot being married to me and I will be eternally grateful to him for loving me so very much. He truly is the most amazing husband ever. Thanks babe for being so wonderful. I love you with all that I am.

The day started off with a beautiful boquet of a dozen yellow roses. Then, he let me go have a few hours to myself. Then tonight, we got all dressed up and went to his work Christmas party. We have been to many work Christmas parties but this one was by far the most fun. We had a blast. The highlight of the evening however, was when Buddy participated in a singing contest. It was not really Karoke because there was no screen to read the words off of and it was with a live band on stage. So Buddy sang "Sweet Home Alabama" and did awesome. So many people were amazed that Buddy really did know how to sing and sang very well. Out of the 5 contestents, it was down to Buddy and one other guy. They had a sing off and Buddy was hillarious. He didn't really know the song but he got up there and shook his booty and just had a ball. Everyone loved it!!! A side to Buddy that most have never ever seen. He won a $1000 American Airlines gift card!!!! It was so much fun.

Now it is very late and we have Church VERY early so I am off to bed. What an amazing day!!!

Our Thanksgiving Trip

2008-12-03T10:02:00.003-06:00

My, my sister Tiffany, my sister Linda, all holding my cute mama.

My niece Melissa

My sister in law Jen, her son Luke, and her daughter Camryn

My brother Richard, Buddy, my brother Darren and my nephew Ryan playing Rook.

My nephew Eric being so silly

Well, we left on November 22 and went as far as Flagstaff and spent the night with Buddy's parents. We woke up the next morning and went to Hurricane to spend some time with my family. All of my siblings except for one came so it was a lot of fun to see everyone. We left there on Wednesday and went back to Flagstaff to spend Thanksgiving with my husbands family. We had a lot of fun there as well including early morning shopping on Friday. I didn't take nearly enough pictures but here are some of what I did take.

Are You Going???

2008-11-21T08:41:00.003-06:00

I have been waiting for today for a very long time. The movie Twilight comes out today. However, I cannot go and I am soooo sad about that. We are leaving around 5:00 today to go and see family for Thanksgiving. I am so happy to see my family but man...I really wanted to go on opening night. Oh well. To those of you going tonight, think of me. Have a great time.

The Reason We Are NOT Having Any More Children!!!

2008-11-17T14:51:00.003-06:00

Need I say More????

PROUD TO BE A MORMON!!!!

2008-11-13T11:51:00.002-06:00

It seems that every time I sit down on my couch to take a few minutes to just relax and watch some t.v. I hear only sadness and anger yelling at me from the screen. My sadness has deepened lately as the headlines are filled with stories regarding proposition 8 in California. I just want to say how much it has angered me that the gay and lesbian groups across the nation have put the blame on The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for the passing of Proposition 8. As a member of this great church I will say, that had I lived in California, I would have absolutely voted yes on this. IN MY OPINION, marriage is meant to be between a man and a woman. As an American, I am entitled to that opinion. Those who feel otherwise are also entitled to their thoughts and views. However, when did it become okay to go to our sacred temples and spray paint things on our gates and walls. How is that okay? At no time did the LDS church provide any money to anyone or any organization in regards to this proposition. In our church meetings we are not told how to vote or whom to vote for. How dare these people vandalize our buildings. I love this church with all my heart. I have friends who are gay and/or lesbian. I do not judge them just as they do not judge me. There are countless groups out there (including hundreds of other religions) who are also against the legalization of gay marriages. Why is it that these groups are not being targeted?

Lets clear things up here. MORMONS ARE NOT POLYGAMYSTS. My husband only has one wife. Every single mormon on this planet only has one wife. If you are so caught up in your narrow minded ways that you cannot take 10 minutes to go to any member of this great church to get the facts before you plaster ridiculous sayings on your stupid signs then you are even more shallow than I thought. Our church does not go to your homes or any other place where you worship and vandalize your buildings. Stop already. If you think that such horrific acts are going to in any way bring anyone to see your side of the story, you are sadly mistaken.

I am very proud to be a member of this great church. I will tell anyone and everyone that I am a Mormon. I stand for what I do because I believe in it. If that offends you...then move to a country where you are not allowed to think or believe in anyway other than what you are told to think and/or believe. God bless America and God bless the sacred covenenant of marriage between a MAN AND A WOMAN!!!!

I Vote For......KIMBO!!!!

2008-11-04T08:53:00.003-06:00

Happy Birthday sweet girl. Kimbo turns 6 today. Kimberly has been such a joy in our lives. For a long time, (2 years) it was just me and my Kimbo at home. She was my sidekick. She has always been such a big helper to me. If any of us are having a rough day, Kimbo is our gal. She can make anyone smile. She has such a fun and sweet spirit. She is the first to say I love you and the first to pick you up when you are down. She has a sincere love for her Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. She tries so hard to make us all proud of her. We are indeed very proud of her. She is a shining light to us all. Kimberly, I am so grateful that you are my precious daughter. I love you so very much. Thank you for brightening my life each and every day!

Happy Halloween!!!!

2008-10-31T21:22:00.007-05:00

We had a very fun Halloween!! After school, the kids went next door for pumpkin carving.

(Ethan, Sophie, Rachel, and Kimbo)

Then we went back next door for pizza. Buddy and the kids then went trick or treating with their friends. Garrison wore a Lightning McQueen fire suit, Rachel was a black cat, Kimbo was a witch and Naddie was a poodle.

(Isn't she so cute??)

Thanks Becky and Eric for a very fun night. Thanks for being such good friends and welcoming our family so warmly. Omaha...we missed you so much. Everyone send pictures. We love you!!!
Happy Halloween Everyone!!!!

Burn Update

2008-10-30T13:41:00.003-05:00

(My next door neighbor took this picture. He said he thinks I was in the ambulance at this time)

Well, I went to the doctor again today and the burn is healing beautifully. He said I have about a week left of pain but I should be feeling much better after that. I did take some pictures on Monday but those ones are VERY NASTY as the burn got much worse. So I will not post those. The doctor said I hopefully will have minimal scarring. I have to continue to clean and bandage it twice a day and that is NEVER fun. If I take my pain meds about 30 minutes prior to that, it helps but oh the pain of it all. I remain ever grateful that it didn't go 1 inch farther or I would still be in the hospital. I am convinced that was a blessing of protection from my Heavenly Father.

I will have to miss Kimbo's field trip to the Pumpkin Patch. That literally brings tears to my eyes. Kimbo has always gone to sitters while I took the older 2 kids on their field trips and now I cannot go on her first one. It will be okay though. She was very sweet about it. "Mommy, you can't go on my field trip. It would hurt your leg to walk around that much. You have to stay home and get some rest." I bawled. Sweet girl.

Pictures Of My Burn

2008-10-26T10:34:00.003-05:00

I have had a couple of people ask to see pictures of my burn. If you have a weak stomach, this post is not for you. So if you don't want to see...look away NOW.

Ouch That's Hot!!!!

2008-10-23T21:25:00.002-05:00

Oh what a day. Yesterday, I made myself some Cup O' Ramen. All was well until I went to sit down and oops!!!! The entire thing fell into my lap. There are no words to tell one just how excruciating that pain was/is. To make a very long story short, my neighbor came over, called 9-1-1 and I went to the E.R. Buddy was at work so he met me there. After SEVERAL doses of pain medication I was sent home with a long list of very strict instructions. The top and inner part of my left thigh is by far the worst. I have many blisters and it is just awful. The right thigh has a spot about the size of the palm of my hand. They gave me Morphine and Vicodin. The Morphine leaves me with the worst headache I've ever had and the Vicodin leaves me puking. So...it hasn't been a pleasent couple of days. I go back tomorrow for them to check and I will contiue to go back until the doctor is sure that no infection will occur. They want to watch it very closely due to the large amount of area the burn covers.

My kids were all home and I cannot express how grateful I was. Rachel and Kimbo were AMAZING!!! Naddie was in bed and Garrison was freaked out but did rather well. The girls answered the phone when necessary, waited out front for the ambulance and showed the paramedics where I was and just over all were very brave and helpful.

I am in a lot of pain of course but grateful that I am going to be just fine. Pants are my worst enemy at this given time. I will refrain from posting pictures as I don't want anyone to join me in the "losing your lunch" festivities.

Happy Birthday Mama!!!

2008-10-21T12:33:00.003-05:00

Today is the birthday of the greatest woman to ever walk the earth. It is my mama's birthday. I have no idea where to even begin about how much I love my mom. Anyone who reads this, has a mother and therefore knows how I feel. She is everything to me. She has been there holding my hand and playing with my hair (something she knows I love for her to do) through all 4 labor and deliveries. Even though I lived 1/2 way across the country, she came. She has always let me talk her ear off and never complained about me talking too much. She has always given me council and guidance when I have needed it. Even though I am extremely far from perfect, she has loved me in spite of myself. She froze to death at the high school football games just to watch me do the exact same cheers over and over again every Friday night (but she loved going to the basketball games even though again, it was the same cheers over and over again). She provided such a good example to me throughout my life. I can remember countless times walking in on her in her room as she was kneeling by her bed and praying or sitting in her special chair next to her little table and reading her scriptures. Those are moments that will be forever instilled in my head. Moments that I hope to copy for my own children to witness. Her love of the gospel is unwavering. She loves her family with everything inside of her. She is little BUT mighty. So often when I was growing up, friends told me time and time again how they wished they had my mom. She is so admired and loved by so many people. I am incredibly proud to say that she is my mom. I love you so much mama!!!

Marie-Therese Gown GIVEAWAY !!!!!!!

2008-10-20T17:03:00.000-05:00

This gown is amazing!!! Very talented lady.

Marie-Therese Gown GIVEAWAY !!!!!!!

Happy Birthday Rachel!!!!

2008-10-20T09:40:00.003-05:00

Today is our beautiful daughters birthday, and she is turning 8!!! We are so blessed to have such a special little girl in our home. Rachel is so kind and loving. She is always thinking of others. She loves the Gospel and school. She is a very gifted artist. Rachel loves to cook and help take care of her other siblings. In our religion, 8 is a very special birthday. When a child turns 8, they reach the age of accountability therefore they are given the opportunity to be baptized. Rachel is so excited to be baptized and we are very proud of her for making the choice to do so. Rachel, we are so very proud of you and all that you do. We love you so very much and feel very blessed to have you in our lives. Thank you for being such a wonderful daughter.

Good Friends = Good Times

2008-10-18T21:57:00.004-05:00

Nichole, Chris and their sweet boy Matthew.

Little Matthew. He has the most beautiful brown eyes ever!!!

Angela, John and Emma.
I am so sad that I don't have a better picture of this beautiful baby girl.

Nichole, Me, and Angela.

My hottie husband.

Tonight we had some very special visitors over for dinner. John and Angela and their little girl Emma, and Nichole and Chris and their little boy Matthew. Angela and Nichole are friends of mine from my home town of Kingman. Both of their mothers taught me in Young Women and I used to babysit them both. These two girls have always meant so much to me in my life. It was so wonderful to visit with them. They have grown into beautiful women and absolutely wonderful mothers. They both chose great men as their eternal companions. They both just have very special little families. Our families were all very good friends growing up so one of the nicest parts of the night was being able to tell stories of my dad and having someone who knew him. I often talk about my dad but many of my friends have never met him so it was nice to have that. Thank you for driving all the way out here girls. I know it is a long drive but I loved having your very special spirits in my home. I love you both very much.

The Next American Idol!!!

2008-10-10T14:48:00.003-05:00

Rachel has a High School Musical game for the Wii and it has a microphone in which you use to sing along with all the songs from the movie. Well, last night, Rachel was playing with it and Naddie kept screaming because she wanted a turn. Once she had that microphone in her hand, it was no turning back. She was just a singing like crazy. She would sing for a few seconds and then put her hand over her mouth and laugh. It was HILARIOUS. We were all laughing so hard. The best part of it??? Buddy was able to be here to enjoy it with us. What an adorable baby I have.

Getting Settled

2008-10-07T17:34:00.002-05:00

So I hate to post anything negative or sad but as this is as close to a journal as I am currently using, I figure this is the best place to put down my thoughts and feelings. First of all, I am beyond excited to be a family again. There are no words to express the excitement that I feel to be able to sleep next to my husband every night and to make normal dinners that consist of more substance than hot dogs and macaroni and cheese. Just knowing that my amazing husband whom I adore and love deeply, will be coming through that front door in just a few hours is just about enough to make my heart do flips. I LOVE this big beautiful home that we have been so blessed to get. It is so much more than I can even express on this blog. It just blows my mind every day that we are able to live in it.

I am still struggling and cannot quite seem to shake this "depression" that I have fallen into. I miss my friends in Omaha so very much. I desperately miss my neighbors and those of you that have meant so much to me. Everything is different here. The people are different, the scenery is different and the entire overall atmosphere is different. Now I understand that my happiness is determined by me and only me. Where we live is what we make it out to be but I personally need some time to just miss everything. I look around this amazing house, and see box, after box and just feel completely overwhelmed at facing it alone. I want to be able to pick up the phone and call Tena or Heidi or Dianne, or Tricia and say HELP!!!!

Now I know that as soon as I make friends, things will be better and brighter. I am certain that the kids starting school on the 13th will make all of the difference in the world in respect to my sanity. I guess I am just feeling lonely and participating in my own little pity party. So... don't call or write if you don't want to listen to me bawl like a baby. I'm down but not out. I will pick myself up and get through this. My sweet husband is so afraid to even sneeze wrong for fear that I will either break down crying or rip his head off. I appreciate his patience. It's like walking on pins and needles around here.

So...I will close with telling all my dear ones in Omaha that I miss you. Go roll in that beautiful green grass for me. Please don't forget me. I feel rather "left behind" while you all continue on with your lives and friendships that I so long to be a part of forever. I'm 1000 miles away but still here.

I'm off to make meatloaf for dinner. I cannot wait to see my hubby. As Garrison would say.."no more taking daddy to big airplane." HALLELUJAH!!!!

The Land of Oz

2008-10-01T22:43:00.004-05:00

Well, we made it out of Omaha finally. The movers did not bring a big enough truck to load everything for us so they had to come back on Tuesday to load up the rest. We will get the first truck on Friday and then the other truck on Sunday. It was very frustrating but it will all work out. We left Omaha around noon on Tuesday and went as far as Dodge City. Since the movers will not be here until Friday (yet another kink in the system. They were SUPPOSED to be here Thursday) we took our time getting up and out this morning. When we came to Liberal Kansas, we saw a billboard that said "Come and see the official home of Dorothy." Buddy and I thought the girls would love it and we were not in a huge rush so we went for it. The girls LOVED it. Buddy and I even really enjoyed ourselves. It was really a neat thing to see. We made it to Albuquerque around 8:00 and we are EXHAUSTED. We got everyone fed and in bed. I went to take a relaxing bath and realized there was no plug for the tub. So Buddy went to the front desk to get one. Nobody was there so he leaned on the front counter to wait. A police officer comes around the corner and tells him to please move off of the counter because they will need to get fingerprints from off of it. Turns out, the front desk was held up. Now mind you, we have not been here very long and our family has been in and out of the lobby a few times. I am overwhelmed with emotions. WELCOME TO NEW MEXICO!!!!

(Walking the yellow brick road)

(The cranky apple trees)

(The house they used as a prop in the movie)

(Glenda, the good witch)

The Time Has Come....

2008-09-28T22:39:00.003-05:00

Well, the movers come tomorrow morning around 8:30. I am emotionally drained. I have cried more in the last week then I ever thought possible. My week has been filled to the rim with lunches and dinners with all of my amazing friends here in Omaha. Every single day, I have either had lunch or dinner with someone or a group of people. I cannot thank everyone enough for all of the effort that was put into each lunch and/or dinner and for all of the love that has been shown to me and my kids. Tonight was the very first set of goodbyes that we had to do. It was heartbreaking to watch my kids say farewell to their friends. I sincerely hope that we will hear from each and every one of you. You have no idea how much we will miss all of you. I do have to tell one quick story. Tonight, my neighbors threw us a going away party with the neighborhood. I have spoken countless times of our wonderful evenings that we have spent outside sitting in the driveway with our neighbors. Well, tonight, they gave us a home made purse that was made by Diannes mom (thank you so much Diannes mom. I LOVE IT) and it was filled with items to help us remember our wonderful summer. Then they brought out two Nebraska Husker chairs (we are DIEHARD Alabama fans) with a message written by each and every one of our neighbors on the chairs. I am so excited to pull those chairs out and use them on our new driveway. I just cannot get over what a fantastic idea that was. Thanks you guys. I will truly cherish them forever. We love you all. We love Omaha. Please, please do not forget us. We will never forget you. Thank you for changing my life. I love you.

Tough Times

2008-09-20T08:58:00.002-05:00

The night before I returned home from Albuquerque, there was a tragedy in our neighborhood. A tragedy that has affected all of the neighbors that I have come to love as if they were family. As many of you know, my neighbors mean everything to me. There are no words to express how much they mean to me. At news of this tragedy, not only was my heart broken for the immediate family involved but for my other neighbors as well. They new the affected family far better than I did. It has literally made my stomach hurt to see them going through such a difficult time. I have cried for them more than once and I just so badly want to make it all better and I cant. The fact that I am leaving in what is now only 9 days only makes it worse on me.

This tragedy helped me realize just how lucky I am to have what I do. I know for a fact that Heavenly Father loves ME because he allowed me what I call "bonus time" here in Omaha. He did that so I could develop this amazing relationship with Larry and Tricia, Sean and Diane, and Cary and Melissa. I hate that they are hurting at this time. It shook me up however, to realize just how quickly everything can change. I don't know what I would ever do if I got the call that one of them was gone. I know that nobody can be here forever but how fast life goes by is just overwhelming.

I feel incredibly blessed to have lived on Jacobs street for the past two years. Lots of things have happened in our lives over the time we have lived here and I could not have asked for better people to share that with. I am bound and determined that wherever the future takes my family, we will make friends with our neighbors. I will indeed bring my chair outside as often as possible and sit each night and encourage others to do the same. Of course it will never be the same and I know in the beginning I will get emotional at seeing different faces around that circle, however, my dear neighbors will NEVER be forgotten and regardless of the miles that seperate us, I will indeed be there for them. I love you all and thanks for loving Buddy and I and my kids.

New House???

2008-09-17T08:04:00.004-05:00

So we are back from our house hunting trip to Albuquerque. After much looking and much deliberation, we decided to rent a home. We had full intentions of either buying or doing a rent to own, however, after looking at lots of homes and with great prayerful consideration, nothing ever felt right. We were not comfortable owning two homes at once among other things. Although it is not official yet (just waiting to hear back from the rental agency on our approval) this will be our new home as of October 1st. The story is long and quite frankly amazing however it was VERY clear to Buddy and I that this was the place for us to live. I still think about how it all worked out in an unbelievable way. Our Heavenly Father most certainly had His hand in this one. These pictures are 2 years old and there is now grass (yes grass in New Mexico!!! Another sign that someone from above loves me indeed) in the front yard. It is in amazing condition. The current family who is renting it is just as sweet as can be. The mom and I felt like we had been friends forever. It was sad for both of us to realize that we couldn't live next to each other or something. There is a very large balcony off of the master suite and the back yard has a huge covered patio and there is plenty of room for a trampoline (Buddy is running out of excuses of why we cant have one) and for Buddy's future fire pit (Thanks for the idea Cleggs!) It is 2700 square feet (I think ) and has 2 living areas (family room and living room) plus a loft. 4 bedrooms and 3 of them have walk in closets. The kids bathroom has double sinks and has a seperate door to the shower/bath and toilet area. It is just gorgeous. So here are the pictures.

Kitchen (obviously)

This is the view from the Kitchen looking into the family room.

A small part of the backyard

Master bath (also has a HUGE walk in closet)

Moving

2008-09-04T22:59:00.002-05:00

We are moving. I am emotionally and physically exhausted so I hope that this post makes sense. Buddy spoke with his boss today and in order to get us together as a family, the company will pay our mortgage here in Omaha until our house sells. We will move to Albuquerque and rent a home until our home here sells at which time, we will buy a home in Albuquerque.

I am experiencing about 1000 different emotions. First off, I am more than elated to be a family again. I have missed my husband more than I can say. I cannot wait to have him home each night. The kids are so happy to be living with daddy again. On the other hand, we are so very sad to be leaving such a wonderful place. We have absolutely loved Omaha. There are no words to express how much we will miss it here. We will miss just about everything (excluding the tornados and the -30 weather).

We will all be flying out on Sunday September 14th to go house hunting. We will return that following Wednesday and then move somewhere very close to October 1st. There is so much to get done between now and then and I am feeling extremely overwhelmed. I know that everything will work out for the best and we are excited for a new adventure. (tomorrow I will be excited. Tonight I am just too tired).

I of course will keep everyone posted. To our Omaha friends, thank you for making our 2+ years here so amazing. Please do not ever forget us and know that we love you so very much. I don't know how I would have made it without each of you to keep me going. One of my best friends told me tonight (as I was bawling) how much it must mean to me to see just how many friends I have here. Heidi, you are right. I am very blessed to have so many good friends.

Part of me wants to sit and type a special message to each of you but this is not the place to do that. You know who you are, and you know what you mean to me. I love you all. Let's make this next month, the most amazing yet.

Happy Birthday Ricky Ticky Tavi

2008-09-03T19:53:00.002-05:00

Today is my oldest brothers birthday!!! Richard turns 45 today. (I am sure he appreciates me announcing that to everyone). I don't have a lot of memories of Richard from when I was little since he is 15 years older than me but I do know that I have always looked up to him. As I have become a wife and mother I have gotten to know him more. Our dad passed away 9 years ago and Richard has done such an amazing job of stepping in. He is such a spiritual giant. I only wish I had 1/4 of the knowledge and understanding that he has of the gospel. I have seen Richard face some very difficult things in his life. I know that he has suffered greatly throughout his adult life. However, he has come through it all and is even stronger spiritually. I love you Richard. Thanks for being such a great big brother. Thank you for being such a wonderful support to me in my life. I still have one email in particular that you sent me and I read it often and draw strength from it. I appreciate the fact that I know you are praying for me. There are days when I feel so overwhelmed and yet I know that you and Lauri are praying for me and my family and I feel those prayers. I hope you have a wonderful birthday.

Pudding anyone????

2008-09-01T10:22:00.005-05:00

We had a BBQ with my neighbors on Sunday and I had seen on "Jon and Kate plus 8" this great idea. It is body painting with pudding. So the kids got their swimming suits on and went at it. They had a blast!!!!

(Kimbo)

(Rachel)

(Rachel, Carly, Hayleigh, Emma, and Kimbo)

(Carly)

(Hayleigh)

Katydid

2008-09-01T10:12:00.005-05:00

We were sitting outside the other night with our neighbors (as usual) and this came crawling across the driveway. At first we thought it was an ant carrying a leaf but upon further inspection, we found it to be a "Katydid" aka: leaf bug.

We put it in a jar.....

And the next day I took it to school to show each of the kids classrooms. They all loved it. We then let it go to so it could live happily ever after.

Sick of all the sickness

2008-08-21T20:50:00.003-05:00

Tuesday night: Rachel: "Mom, I don't feel good. My head and tummy hurt."
Mom: "Let me take your temp....100.1. Get your jammies on and go to bed."
(Rachel then continues to miss school Wednesday, Thursday and soon to be Friday.

Thursday morning. Kimbo: "Mommy whats wrong?"
Mommy: "My throat is killing me." (no fever as of yet. Mommy just feels horrible)

Thursday afternoon: Mom: "Garrison and Kimbo, bring me your backpacks so I can see what you did in school today."
Garrison: "Kimbo sleeping"
Mom: "Oh crap."
Garrison : "Ouch, not crap. We don't say crap." (long story)
Mom then takes Kimbo's temp. 102.5. Kimbo will be missing Friday at school.

Thursday evening. Mom walks into Garrison's room to check on Garrison. Garrison laying on bed watching a movie. Mom takes temp. 99.3
Mom: " Garrison do you feel sick?"
Garrison: "I not sick. No one sick."
Garrison will be missing school on Friday.

Thursday evening. Mom: (speaking to doctors office) "My little girl has had a temp between 102.5 and 103 since 4:00. Motrin or a shower do not help."
Doctor's office: "We will have a nurse call you."

Mom is still waiting for phone to ring so she is blogging to pass time and ignore her very sore throat.

Mom is stressed!!! Mom has only been able to read 1 1/2 chapters of her new book "Twilight" because of so many sick kids. I NEED A VACATION!!!

The First Day of School

2008-08-13T09:13:00.003-05:00

Well it finally arrived. The first day of school. Now, I have been saying how excited I was for it to start because that meant that it would be just me and Natalie. I could clean, nap, read, go on a walk, whatever I wanted with just the two of us. However, now that the kids are gone, I miss them terribly. I am excited for some "down" time (as "down" as it can be with a 13 month old) but I miss the other kids so much. Kimbo started Kinder and oh did I cry. She held it together beautifully. I, on the other hand, cried like a baby. She was my baby for so long and it was just her and I together for so long that I miss having her at my side. It is definitely harder to have her gone then the other two.

Garrison came in at 5:30 this morning and said, "Good morning mommy. It's time for school." He was so excited. So he has about 5 or so hours of sleep in his system. All three kids were just so excited. I know they will have a great year. We are elated to be able to continue at Rohwer, We LOVE this school. Here are a few pics of my adorable children. (remember, you can click on the pictures to make them larger.)

My big Kindergartener

Can you believe she is in 2nd grade?

Up at 5:30 all ready to begin 4th grade

Kimbo waving goodbye as she enters her new school! (at this point, I am bawling)

Who are the people in your neighborhood???

2008-08-08T22:15:00.006-05:00

I must say that I single handedly have the best neighborhood in the state of Nebraska and perhaps even the world!!!! Every night, the neighbors directly next door to me (Tricia and Larry) and the neighbors directly across the street from me (Sean and Diane) and the house directly next door to them (Carey and Melissa) and then our family, all go outside and visit in our lawn chairs while all of our kids play on their bikes, with chalk, with bubbles, or just use their imaginations. This has been going on throughout the entire summer. It is a staple that our four houses will be out each and every night together. During Buddy's absence, they have watched over our family and helped me with anything and everything I have needed. Sean has called me countless times at night after we are all inside to tell me that I have left my garage door open. They make sure I am in my basement any time there is a storm. Melissa's daughters, Chelsea and Madi, have been a HUGE help with my kids. The other day, Diane, Tricia, Melissa and I, all went and got pedicures and manicures together. We share dinners and/or desserts. They are listening ears when I need to talk and they all have strong shoulders for me to cry on. They have all become such dear friends to me. This nightly ritual of our gatherings in the drive way have become such a blessing in my life. The kids and I look forward to it from the time we wake up in the morning.

Tonight, our neighbor that lives two houses down from me came over and asked us to come and join them for karaoke in their garage. So we all went down there and had a marvelous time. We sang our hearts out. Here are a few shots of the fun.

Kimbo, Carlie (Sean and Diane's daughter) and Rachel singing Hannah Montana.

Buddy getting his groove on.

Christian is Sean and Diane's son. He is also known as Spider Man around these parts.

Tricia and Diane sharing one of those desserts I was talking about

Larry, Christian, and Sean singing "I'm a believer"!!

Without these amazing neighbors of mine, this time with Buddy being gone, would have been much harder to bear. I truly do love them so much. They have become more like family to the kids and I. They are a huge reason why I don't want to leave Omaha. I know our family will always treasure these times we have had. Thanks for the memories dear friends. I adore you!!!

Swimming with friends

2008-08-04T09:33:00.003-05:00

A few days ago we went next door to our good friend Tricia's house and swam for a while. The kids had a blast and Natalie had a great time exploring the back yard. Here are just some of the pictures that I loved. By the way, the bottle situating is going very well. Since that first night she has slept through the night every single night. Also to those of you who are new to this blogging thing. If you click on the picture it will make it larger. The second one down is especially sweet when bigger.

No more bottles???

2008-07-29T05:20:00.004-05:00

So here it is, 5:00 in the morning and I am out on the couch wondering what the heck am I doing. Well, the answer is breaking Natalie of her bottle. My three older kids woke up on their 1st birthday with no bottles in the house; cold turkey;no problems. However, with Natalie, it hasn't been quite as easy. Some say it is because she is my baby (my youngest, not just a baby) and so I am inclined to give into her more. Some say I am struggling because I am older than I was with the other three so I am just tired. Either way....I HATE THIS!!! She ONLY takes a bottle when she goes to bed. At her 1 year check up, the doctor told me that I would probably need to do a "cry-out." A cry-out (just in case you have no idea) is when you just let your baby lay in bed and cry. According to the pediatrician it shouldn't take more than 2-3 nights. I have NEVER been one to just let my babies cry. I figure there is a reason they are crying and it is my job as their mother to fix whatever problem it might be. However, I now find myself sitting on my living room couch at the wee hours of the morning with my heart literally aching as I sit here and listen to my baby cry. I tried to give her a sippy cup with water (just like my doctor told me to do) and she wants nothing to do with it. Natalie is in our room (due to our lack of space in this house) so I couldn't stand just laying there anymore and came out here and made myself a bed. It doesn't matter, I still cannot sleep.

So, I am pleading with my fellow friends and bloggers for any words of advice, support, or comments in which to help me get through these next few nights. I have a feeling that I am going to be far more tired than usual this week. I want to do this. I know it is best for her (and her teeth) but man is this one tough for me.

HARK!!!! I hear silence coming from my room. Maybe I will make it after all.

A little sad.

2008-07-25T15:35:00.004-05:00

I had read and then heard the lecture given by this great man Randy Pausch. He was a professor who was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer. He was told he had 3-6 months left to live. He wrote a lecture entitled "The last lecture". It was filled with stories of his childhood dreams and tales of how those dreams either came true or didn't but how in the end, he would never let any brick wall get in his way. He would simply break through it. At the end of the lecture he told his class that he didn't write this lecture for them. He wrote it for his kids because he was dying of cancer. He was a very inspiring man. He left behind a beautiful wife and 3 children. I never got the opportunity to meet him but I can say, his "The Last Lecture" made an impact on my life. My condolences go out to his family. Thanks for sharing your husband and father with the rest of the world.

Here is the link to that lecture
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo
It is over an hour long but once you start listening, you wont want to stop.

Picking Mushrooms

2008-07-24T12:04:00.003-05:00

When Natalie was born last summer, my mom and step dad came out for a month to help out. It was one of the best months of my life. Anyway, my mom would take Kimbo and Rachel out into the yard to hunt for mushrooms. My girls LOVED doing this with their grandma. Well, just this morning, I went to take the trash out and there was this HUGE mushroom right in my front yard. I quickly went and got the girls and we knew right away that we had to post such a fun memory. So here it is...The giant mushroom!!!!! We love you grandma and miss you so much. Thanks for picking mushrooms with us.

A walk down memory lane

2008-07-11T09:52:00.001-05:00

*I got this off of my friend Mia's blog and LOVED the idea.*

1. Leave a comment on my blog. In the comment, recall one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember! Let's keep it clean. My mom reads my blog. :)

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. If you don't have a blog, still leave me a memory and I'll e-mail you a memory from our past.You have nothing better to do right?

Happy Independence Day!!!

2008-07-04T11:50:00.002-05:00

I am so very proud to be an American. I consider it a privilege and honor to live in this great nation. Thank you to every soldier who have fought in the past, those who fight today, and those who will someday fight. Thank you to their families who support them. Your sacrifices are appreciated. I love this great country and am proud to wave our beautiful flag. God Bless America!!!!

Happy Birthday Natalie!!!

2008-06-29T16:13:00.004-05:00

Today is our beautiful baby girls 1st birthday!!!! We have been so blessed to have such an amazing little girl in our lives. We love you so much Naddie.

Oh...We're on the way, Oh, we're on the way...

2008-06-20T22:10:00.002-05:00

This may be my last internet connection for a week so I thought I might want to let everyone know that we are officially on VACATION!!!! We left on Thursday and went as far as Perry Oklahoma (just out of Oklahoma city) and spent the night there. Then, we hit the road this morning and are staying in Austin. So far with 2 long days of traveling, everything has been great. The kids have all 4 done incredibly well. We brought lot's of food to eat in the car so that we didn't have to stop so much. One thing that I will say is that Naddie sure does like HER bed. Sleeping in her car seat is not a real option for her. She has been very good though. We will leave here in the morning and meet the rest of my hubby's family in San Antonio and have 4 days at sea world and 1 day at Fiesta Texas (6 flags). We haven't seen his sisters and their kids in 2 years so we are more than excited!!! This is a vacation that has not only been planned for 2 years, but one that I need more than ever!!!! So, I will say hello when and if I can. In the meantime, I will be having the time of my life with my amazing husband and 4 incredible children!!! YAHOO!!!!!!!!!! Shamu, here we come!!!!!!

My beautiful baby girl!!!

2008-06-15T22:18:00.001-05:00

Can I just say that I have such the beautiful little girl???

More tornado's

2008-06-12T13:10:00.002-05:00

Well, we were hit with more tornado's last night. Sundays caused more local damage but it went so fast, you didn't have time to be scared. Yesterdays started at 5:00 at night and they came for hours. At one point, the wall cloud was directly over us and we were huddled in the laundry room. It was such a rough night. It is hard to be strong for the kids when I am so scared myself. I was a lot more scared last night. The kids and I prayed that angels would surround our home and keep us safe yet again. Once again, our Heavenly Father protected the children and I. I LOVE Omaha so much but these darn tornado's are something that I will definitely not miss. The saddest part of all, is that 4 young boy scouts were killed while attending a boy scout camp in a small Iowa town. My heart aches for their mothers and families. I cannot even begin to comprehend what those families are now having to go through. As a mother, I want to be able to wrap my arms around those moms who must now face life without their precious sons. PLEASE keep their families in your prayers. Our hearts and prayers are certainly with them. Hug your kids a little tighter tonight. We love you all and appreciate those prayers that or given on our behalf. These past few nights have shown me that prayers really are answered.

Holy Cow!!!!!

2008-06-11T00:24:00.006-05:00

Okay so I haven't posted anything whatsoever about the tornado that hit here in Omaha on Sunday and after reading what I just read, and looking at the map, I now find it necessary.(Quick side note. We actually live in a suburb originally called Millard however it is "technically" Omaha as it was annexed into Omaha a few years back. Locals still call it Millard though) The National Weather Service just came out tonight and said that 2 tornado's touched down and joined together. One of the original tornado's came right through our neighborhood!!!! Sunday at church, everyone was talking about how different this storm was. The sirens did not go off until AFTER the twister hit. Nobody saw this storm coming. They say it literally just popped up. News rooms have been flooded with complaints that when Omaha residence turned on their televisions, there was no information. That was because nobody saw this coming. One news channel said on Monday that everything happened in just 4 short minutes. In that amount of time, we went from simply Heavy rain, to a severe thunderstorm warning, straight to a tornado warning in 4 minutes. Unbelievable.

Now, I knew there was damage as close as one street over (someone lost parts of their roof) and on my same street, someone lost their entire fence. And I will say, that when I woke up, I looked out my windows and I cannot explain how different it was. The rain was hitting our bedroom window so differently. The wind was blowing so hard, I couldn't tell what direction it was going and I couldn't see my back yard. I just saw rain and wind, and hail hitting my window. I immediately checked my weather radio to see if it was working because I couldn't imagine that no warnings or at least watches were being issued. ( a watch means that conditions are right but it may or may not happen and a warning means to take cover IMMEDIATELY). It went off and said a severe thunderstorm warning and so I went to check on the kids and looked out their windows. Same thing. I couldn't see anything because of the intense wind and rain. By the time I got back to my room, my radio was going off again saying a tornado warning. I hurry and woke Buddy up and we quickly got all 4 sleepy yet frightened children down to the basement.

Of course we are all right but when I say my prayers tonight, I will thank my Heavenly Father even more fervently for keeping us safe. Talk about a close call. The darn thing was right here!!!!

*Images used from http://www.ketv.com

Her Royal Highness

2008-06-10T17:07:00.005-05:00

Her Royal Highness, Kimbo Hopkins, Graced us with her presence today. It was a lovely day indeed. She enjoyed royal cookies made by our chef, Count Oreo, and participated in page after page of royal coloring. The drawings were exquisite. We feel very blessed indeed to have such a magnificent and beautiful girl grace our home with her presence.